The chills made them come to us. From a distance. Behind a flat screen. Seated motionless, completely enraptured by two unique voices and by an immediately clear content. Because whoever has suffered for love or love cures those shivers knows them, knows where they start from and where they lead, and also knows the intermediate stops, those that are made in order not to die.
From the first listening, the distracted, confused one, the one during which you don’t understand much and try to guess in an amateur way if the song says something or not, but so much so that it is catchy and we are in Sanremo, you feel that there is something different.
This time, you don’t really know why, from the very first words, you understand. You understand that he is talking to you, about you, about love. Of that love that torments and while it does it handcuffs. Of that love that you would gladly do without but you can’t do it, you can’t do it. You would pay for it to happen, and you would accept, and perhaps hope for it, even a lie in order to be able to save you from the pain.
Sanremo, Mahmood and Blanco triumph at the Festival: the announcement of Amadeus. And Blanco kisses his mother
Shivering tells us about that love where one of the two suffers more and the other less. Where one loves excessively and the other does not (lucky him).
Chills tells, while it gives us chills, of the very serious and dangerous problem of those who love in an excessive and overflowing way. Of those who in love want to give (and give themselves) always everything and even more, exaggerating, to the point of feeling wrong. Guilty. Drained of psychic energies. Fragile, needy and sick.
Affective addicts love it like this: over the top. But they don’t know how to do anything else, they can’t do anything else, until they decide to really take care of themselves. They love beyond all evidence, they suffer, they feel pain but they also and above all deny it to themselves. Basically, they feed on pain itself for fear of loving and also of being happy.
At one point the song reads like this: “You’ve changed. I no longer see the light in your eyes ”.
Those who love recognize that light, hear and see the invisible, and understand well even if they deny it – denial is one of the many defense mechanisms that the psyche uses to not feel pain – that that light is becoming dim or evanescent, they feel a pain that tears the bowels, but cannot go away. To say goodbye to that love that has turned into the place of absence.
Chills goes on and clearly says, “Don’t leave me like this. Naked with shivers “.
When a love becomes passion, obsession and torment, nakedness – not of the body, but of the soul – is impossible to protect, to dress, to repair. Inside that gash of bare skin, in need of a hug and the other, enters the darkness, the pain, the abandonment.
A partner screams hungry because he wants his chills back, even if they are harmful and lethal. Just like the addicts, the addicts, the hungry do.
He continues touching on the theme of incommunicability in love, of the words to say it. “Sometimes I don’t know how to express myself. And I would like to love you, but I’m always wrong ”.
Words, not only in love but everywhere, are those indispensable and indestructible bridges that mend tears and unite the fibula, and in times of emoticons instead of words and acting out – even aggressive acts instead of emotions and verbalization of moods – are absolutely necessary.
But in love, when despair and hunger for love cloud everything, they are nowhere to be found.
And troubles take the place of wise decisions.
We explain why Mahmood and Blanco won the Sanremo 2022 Festival with “Broglie”
And then, finally, Mahmood and Blanco enchant us with the refrain. That refrain that does not end there, that comes back to our minds and hearts, that walks under our skin even after, with the television off and at the heart that has remained wide open. Those few intense and punctual phrases, recited with a magic of looks and unique voices that flirt and intertwine with each other without one ever overshadowing or dominating the other, as should happen in a couple who love and respect each other. , and they say: “And I would pay to leave”.
Those who love so much and so badly would pay enormous amounts, especially existential ones, in order to be able to go away. Just to get to safety. To go back to seeing the light and not just the dark and the other. Those who love so much and so badly have a myopic vision that becomes increasingly worsening: they lose sight of the couple’s bond with their criticalities and shadow areas, they lose contact with their deepest feelings, with the residual beats of their heart. He also loves one way, even against the wind. Otherwise it would become invisible. It would disappear into thin air. And nothing is more frightening than pain.
Whoever loves so much and so badly, who gives more in love, is always the most needy partner.
* breaking latest news is a psychologist, specialist in clinical sexology, in Catania and Milan (www.valeriarandone.it) and author of the book “The repairer of hearts – The words that repair”
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Read all the articles in the “LOVE IS NOT JUST LOVE” (click here)
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