“Whether it is a past or a modern woman, choosing to devote herself to the family is essentially unpaid work. It is a 24-hour multi-role (nanny/teacher/cleaning aunt/driver/manager/partner/specialist). Help). The salary for this job should be calculated in total, plus the opportunity cost of not going out to work based on your ability. This should be the salary that the housewife deserves through her own efforts, not a gift or charity.”
This is a post from the well-known Chinese pop singer Leehom Wang’s ex-wife Li Lianglei on Weibo last week. Regarding the various details and rumors before and after the marriage between her and Leehom Wang, she, who had never been interviewed by the media in the past, chose to expose it herself, causing an uproar in the global Chinese-speaking world. In just a few days, the fans of Li Lianglei’s Weibo public account increased by 3 million. The first related post on December 17 was liked by tens of millions. It seemed to be one of the most eye-catching news at the end of 2021.
However, Chinese readers around the world are not only concerned about Leehom Wang’s positive image of being a “high-quality idol” and “descendant of the dragon” over the years, which has been completely vanished under Li Lianglei’s accusations of constant affair or even mental violence. Among them, Li Lianglei called on all walks of life to face up. The speech of “housewives” resonated with many female readers. According to external analysis, this is one of the main reasons for Li’s support this time.
Li LiangleiThe first Weibo posted on the divorce event caught the eye. A week later, her Weibo followers soared by more than 3 million, and she said in her latest Weibo on December 23 that she hoped to put an end to this matter.
Nastassia Chui, a practicing psychologist in Hong Kong, told the BBC Chinese that, based on her years of experience, women generally feel most uncomfortable in a partnership relationship because their “soft work” at home is taken for granted by their husbands. , And is considered not to have work pressure like making money to support a family. In other words, many people in society think that housewives spend a lot of time at home and it is easy, but in fact, just like everyone working from home during the epidemic, many people think that staying at home is actually more tiring than working in the office because they are always there. Work, no time off.
“The metaphor of this is that as long as the husband works in the company, he can do nothing when he comes back, while the wife is working from home and can’t be idle at all times.” She added.
In any case, Li Lianglei allowed the Chinese-speaking entertainment circle to speak up and down, and at the same time brought the old topics of “men dominate the outside, women dominate the inside” in traditional marriages, and the work of housewives did not repay the old topics such as fairness and unfairness once again.
Personal experience escalated into social issues
According to Li Lianglei’s official social media post, even the family that she and Leehom had formed together before, although sitting on several mansions and billions of wealth across the United States and Taiwan, and employing a number of nanny and drivers to assist in housework, but she It is still believed that the income issues of contemporary housewives who enter the family and give up employment should be taken seriously.
Analyzing Li Lianglei’s post, she believes that many women’s education and work abilities are the same as men’s. However, there are still many housewives who ask their husbands for various living expenses, but they will be criticized by their partners or the society as negative images such as “money worship” and ignored. Housewives maintain the family, including parenting or even taking care of the elders in the family.
“Many housewives around me don’t have their own savings or income in their accounts, and they feel embarrassed when they use the money they earn from their husbands. They use the money to look at their husband’s face. If a woman talks about money, The topic will be condemned by the society as a market servant, or questioned whether it is a woman who worships gold.” Li Lianglei said.
The issues mentioned by Li Lianglei have aroused many resonances, especially many housewives or women who are busy at work and parenting. Gao Ruixi, a blogger from Taipei, left a message under Li Lianglei’s post, “My mother grew up with me, and my father and your ex-husband are the same. However, my mother builds her on her own. Kingdom, she has been a great role model for me up to now!” Another netizen, May Chien, also commented, “I didn’t come with a gossip mood, but with a wife and a mother to cheer you up.”
According to external comments, Li Lianglei has caused widespread response and support. The reason is not only that she is defending her reputation, but more importantly, she has raised her personal difficulties to social issues and won the support of other women who have experienced or are in marriage. Of course, there are also comments that the divorced two continue to expose the privacy and unbearableness of their marriage in the public media. Whether this will trigger a “Internet public trial” and how young children will face this dispute in the future is worrying. .
Housewife situation
According to statistics from UN Women, before the new crown epidemic, women around the world spent an average of 6 hours more time on unpaid childcare than men per week. This gap increased to 7.7 hours during the epidemic. The statistical result is that women now spend 31.5 hours a week parenting “almost an extra full-time job.” The research conclusions published by PwC this year stated that the longer women bear unequal care responsibilities, the more women will leave the labor market permanently. This not only sets back the process of achieving gender equality, but also hinders them. Economic growth.
The low employment rate of women after marriage in Chinese society has been a topic of long-term comment from Hong Kong and Taiwan. According to statistics from the Hong Kong Women’s Commission, 2018 data show that the employment rate of women in Hong Kong is 55.1%, which is much lower than that of men’s 68.3%. The main reason why women do not join the labor market is to do housework. For this reason, unemployed women account for the total number of women. The proportion is 35%, which is much higher than 1.6% of men. Many women are unable to work because of taking care of their families. According to official statistics in Taiwan, the employment rate for women in 2020 is only 51.41%, while that for men is 67.24%.
The “Chinese Women’s Daily” in mainland China also published a comment saying that while focusing on the star’s virtue and the destruction of personality, everyone has also begun to focus on “desperate housewives.” The comment said that choosing not to be a full-time housewife is a personal wish, but “women participate in the workplace and retain their competitiveness in the workplace, which is the most secure choice.”
Professor Liu Yuxiu, a Taiwanese scholar and representative of the “Nursing Education Policy Alliance”, said in an interview with Taiwan media in the past that Taiwan is currently in a situation of “high education, low employment, and low fertility”. According to her analysis, due to the university entrance system and other reasons, women’s employment time in Taiwan is slightly later than in countries such as Europe, America and Japan, and they reach the peak of employment between the ages of 25 and 29, with an employment rate of 90%. At the same time, women have also begun to welcome childbearing age. When it comes, many women will choose to leave the workplace and become full-time housewives. Therefore, once the period between 25 and 29 years old is passed, the female labor force participation rate in Taiwan will decline rapidly. Liu Yuxiu emphasized that although the employment rate of women in the 25-29 age range in European countries such as Sweden is only 81%, the employment rate in the 55-59 age range is as high as 82%. Germany has 72%, Japan 65%, and Taiwan only 35% left.
She believes that the cost of childbirth in Taiwan is too high, and the government’s insufficient support for female childcare and employment has resulted in a low female employment rate and the lowest fertility rate in Asia.
Solution
In fact, these figures actually reflect many potential contradictions and frictions between husbands and wives.
According to previous reports from the BBC, many studies have shown that motherhood is more stressful than fatherhood, more exhausted, and less happy, while fathers are happier taking care of their children than mothers. Part of the reason is that fathers interact more with their children, which is fun. Play and entertainment: “A Swedish study showed that if women think that the distribution of housework is unfair and they have different views on the efforts of both parties, it will lead to marital problems and increase the possibility of divorce.”
Cui Zhongjun told the BBC that in the Chinese culture, women are considered to perform housework roles, and the husband is less involved in assisting. “The husband will think that as long as I take the money home and take care of living expenses, I have already done my responsibilities, so the big and small things in the family may not be possible. Shang Xin, some may not even know where to put the toilet paper.”. The wife will feel that apart from taking the money to go home, her husband has made no contribution to the family. If her husband is accused of this kind of accusation, of course he will be very uncomfortable. She added.
One of the solutions. Cui Zhongjun said that many times what his wife needs is understanding and gesture. When she prepares the dishes, she asks if she needs help, or if she is standing next to her, she will accompany and chat with her even if she can’t help. Will do it as sweetly and so on. For women, women are encouraged to take the initiative to “communicate” and speak up when they need help.
“Marriage is originally about giving and supporting each other. If you can increase the time of togetherness (togetherness) in the relationship, it will naturally increase the degree of understanding and empathy, thereby enhancing the relationship,” she said.
In terms of the system, Liu Yuxiu said that the benchmark for drawing on the experience of the Nordic welfare states to support women’s employment is that public childcare for children between 0 and 2 years old should be popularized so that women can have a support system after giving birth to allow her to continue to work.
From Taiwan’s well-known legislator Gao Jiayu’s violent attack by her boyfriend and Li Lianglei’s post detailing the plight of housewives, two highly educated or high-income women have encountered problems in the relationship between the sexes. According to analysis, women with fewer resources in society, When encountering the same problem, more effort is required. On this topic, Li Lianglei said, “So girls! We must take good care of it. I never thought that I would experience this, and you might think it’s impossible like me! Plan for yourself! It must be right to plan for the future of your child.”