Usually the idea of “burnout” is associated mainly with work. But active users of dating sites and apps will quickly confirm that unsuccessful attempts to find their soulmate on the Internet can also lead to severe burnout. This is much more common than many people think.
Today we’ll try to figure out how burnout happens on dating sites and apps, how to prevent it and how to react if you feel you’ve already burned out.
A few words about the causes of dating burnout
To put it as briefly as possible, a very common cause of burnout is the transformation of a favorite pastime into a routine. Indeed you can burn out on anything if you approach the process incorrectly. You’ve probably noticed that even favorite activities get boring over time, and after that they turn into complete torture. With online dating, the situation is exactly the same — the more time you spend looking for your soulmate and the more you immerse yourself in the process, the sooner you’ll face burnout.
Let’s highlight a few key causes of burnout in addition to simple routine:
- You spend too much time on dating sites and apps. The point here is not only that the once-exciting search for a soulmate quickly gets boring. The problem is that the process itself is “automated”. You mindlessly look through profiles, swipe dozens, even hundreds of photos, and sit for hours on a dating site, not expecting anything to happen for a long time.
- You do not fully understand why you use dating sites. Many people register on dating sites and apps purely out of curiosity. They do not have a clear goal of meeting their love or making new friends. Many do not set any goals at all.
- You overestimate your expectations of online dating. Some think you can find your love on the Internet in just a day or two. But a week, a month, several months pass… There’s no soulmate, and new matches don’t seem promising at all. As a result, disappointment. And then there’s burnout.
The causes of burnout in your case could be completely different. But the result is always the same — complete reluctance to continue using dating services, and disappointment in the process of online dating in the modern world.
How can this be avoided? Let’s figure it out!
5 tips on how not to burn out on dating sites and apps
- Tip 1: Set a limit on your use of dating services
As we said above, the more time you spend on a website or dating app, the faster you burn out. Sometimes it is very difficult to limit yourself. You wake up — launch the application. At breakfast, lunch or dinner you look through profiles one by one. When you go to or from work, you swipe an endless stream of photos. And before going to bed, you lie with your phone in your hand for several hours, aimlessly studying accounts on the dating site. And so it goes day after day.
Try to set a clear quota for yourself — no more than 20 minutes a day or no more than 10 swipes a day. Or no more than three conversations, if we are talking about video chats. Believe us, such a quota will make your approach to online dating much more relaxing and enjoyable. You’ll be surprised how much time will be freed up for much more important and useful activities. And how much more effective online dating will be if you stop turning it into a daily routine.
- Tip 2: Use one or two apps/sites, no more
Many Internet users believe that the more dating services they use, the higher the chances of a successful acquaintance. Actually this isn’t the case. More services means faster burnout. But there will be practically no more chances for the desired meeting.
Our advice: choose one classic dating site or app and one random video chat like Omegle. By combining two different dating formats, you will firstly substantially increase your chances of success. And secondly, you will not face burnout due to the variety of communication formats. But keep in mind that Omegle is not the most functional video chat in existence. We recommend considering some Omegle app alternatives such as CooMeet, Chatspin and OmeTV. CooMeet offers a highly accurate gender filter, a built-in message translator, an affiliate program, the ability to add other users as friends, and convenient mobile applications. OmeTV is another popular Omegle alternative with a gender filter and built-in translator. And Chatspin is a clone of Omegle with AR masks and a handy mobile application.
- Tip :. Ask the other person important questions right away
We’re not talking about asking the other user really serious and significant questions straight off the bat. During your first meeting, this wouldn’t be appropriate. But it’s also not worth delaying the transition to more important topics. There are many couples who get to know each other on the web, and then for weeks and even months they communicate mainly on abstract and not superficial topics. And then it turns out that on some fundamental issues the couple do not agree at all, and time is wasted.
Hence this advice: try to discuss the issues that really matter to you as early as possible. Otherwise, you may be in for a big disappointment in a potential partner and in internet dating in general. Don’t be afraid to bring up serious topics. We are all adults and we understand that building a relationship with the first person you come across, who you actually hardly know, is not such a good idea.
- Tip 4: If you find an interesting person, stop using the dating site or app
Online dating gives us an important advantage — the ability to meet and communicate with several people at once. But when you feel that you have found the right person, we recommend that you stop searching. The temptation may be too strong to continue looking for an even more suitable partner. But in this case, you most likely will not find a better option, just ruin your relationship with the person you like.
Therefore, if you feel a person suits you, delete dating apps and do not go to video chat sites. It is not necessary to delete your account, but you can deactivate it so that other users do not distract you. Remember that you can always come back. And now you can concentrate more on the person you like and who might become your soulmate.
- Tip 5: Don’t forget the real world exists
Online dating sometimes makes you forget about the existence of the real world and the people in it. A person dissociates, spends less and less time with friends and relatives, does not meet offline at all. This is wrong. Online dating is good, and for many dating sites are a priority today. But you shouldn’t rely solely on them.
Remember that behind the avatars in the accounts there are real people — the same as you. And you could meet any of these people one day on the street, in line for coffee or in the general company of friends. So when you use online dating, never forget about dating outside the web. After all, fate loves to throw us unexpected surprises. And sometimes these surprises are really pleasant.
And one more thing…
We all need to understand that there is simply no “universal” advice on how to avoid burnout in dating. Each person is unique, has their own approach to dating and their own reaction to an unsuccessful experience. Therefore, the most important action in case of burnout is to try to reduce the amount of time spent on dating platforms and reconsider your own priorities.
Sometimes it’s enough to take a break for a week to come back with renewed vigor, reconsider your approach to online dating, adjust your own dating goals and achieve what you want. The main thing is not to dwell on the negative, not look for disadvantages in yourself and not exacerbate the problem of burnout by continuing to spend hours on dating sites and apps. Relax, take a breath, think about what you are doing wrong. And be sure to use other platforms besides those that you have used before. A new dating format can give completely unexpected results. Why not experiment?