Giuseppe Lavenia is a psychologist, psychotherapist, university professor and president of the Di.Te. (Technological addictions, GAP, cyberbullying)
A desperate cry, whimsical whims, and acts of aggression? These could be just some of the attitudes that a child can exhibit if he spends too much time, perhaps alone, in front of video games.
How Much Time Is Too Much? The guidelines
First of all, it is good to define how much “too” time is. There are guidelines on this aspect: according to a Canadian study published in The Lancet Child & Adolescente Healtha child can spend at most 120 minutes in front of the screen.
But this does not apply to all children, a lot depends on age: the Italian Society of Pediatrics recommends that devices not be used until they are two years old, that children between the ages of 2 and 5 should use them to no more than an hour a day, and less than two hours a day for those between 5 and 8 years old. The reason is that the more hours you spend in front of the screen, and not just that of video games, the greater the possibility that the cognitive development of children is lower. There are still ongoing studies on this aspect.
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Because he doesn’t want to stop playing
One thing is certain that one should investigate why the child has displays of anger, aggression, irritation and frustration and does not want to stop watching the video game. Another certain thing is that these attitudes must not be confused with an addiction, it is not certain that there are extremes to define it as such. The first thing to do, then, is to give clear and precise rules, without having to negotiate them every day, on the use of time to spend in front of a screen.
The presence of parents is important
It is important to spend time with your children while playing video games: it allows adults to observe and notice many unspoken children. You can play with them, or sit with them asking questions about what they like about that game, what attracts them so much, what they think about the rules of the game or how they interact with other players, for example. This will help adults understand how their children feel in front of the screen.
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How do they use video games?
Another aspect to investigate is with what intention they use video games. For recreation after school? To connect with friends? To escape moments of stress, or to numb a disappointment? Or is it because the child feels he is appreciated by the other peers involved in the game, or because he has managed to create a space of his own, where others recognize him as a leader? These too are questions to solve: they will help parents better understand why they exhibit frustration, anger, or other emotions that make them irritable or temperamental.
Video games are not to be demonized, some are also very informative. Furthermore, seeing how our child plays, how he moves in the game pattern can also reveal unspoken in everyday life, such as tensions accumulated for reasons that parents do not yet know.
What to do?
How can we help our children to use video games consciously? First of all, let’s avoid making hasty judgments, and don’t suddenly take away the video game with threats. It is useless and is not good for either party, neither for children nor for adults. Instead, let’s try to learn more about the games that our children like, and let’s not forget to look at the PEGI (the classification of video games that allows us to know if that game is appropriate for the age of our child, but this classification does not take into account of the difficulty level). There are both video games that activate children more, but there are also some that have a “calming” effect: they could be offered to play this last category of video games together, for example, if they are particularly agitated at this stage of their life. life.
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And if the child still continues to exhibit aggression or difficult behavior, both during play and after playing it, why would they want to spend more time in front of the screen? It is important to set time limits, and it is equally important that children learn to have a sense of time in order to build healthy habits. Never let them play an hour before bed, as it may disturb sleep. And it is important that they have a restful rest. Another question we adults should ask ourselves is what example are we setting for our children? How do we use the devices?
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The warning signs
Beginning not to go to school, not eating properly, or no longer having good personal hygiene? It is a gambling disorder when “the pattern of behavior must be of sufficient severity to cause significant impairment of personal, family, social, educational, professional or other important areas of functioning for at least 12 months,” as argued by the WHO, the World Health Organization. Here, if these signs are present, then it is good to consult a mental health professional.