IN THE American Lessons, Italo Calvino proposed six values to bring into the literature of the new millennium: the first is lightness. “In moments when the realm of the human seems condemned to heaviness, I think I should fly like Perseus in another space. I am not talking about escapes into the dream or the irrational. I mean that I have to change my approach, I have to look at the world from another perspective, another logic, other methods of knowledge and verification ”. Calvino will forgive us if we borrow his words to talk about sex in this week’s Health Breast newsletter (here the link to subscribe for free you can request the full version with the interview with the psycho-concolga Florence Didier on couples therapy, writing to [email protected]). To lighten, here, to simplify (which does not mean to deny the complexity), to rejuvenate: this could be needed in the discourse around sexual well-being. Also – above all? – if it’s about people who have had cancer.
Cancer, more than 2.5 million screenings skipped due to Covid
by Tiziana Moriconi
Two girls are trying, Antonella Amoruso e Silvia Petrella, who in Bari founded an association with a simple and direct name (in fact):Love me Playing One comes from the world of marketing and the web, the other has a degree in literature, a passion for books and cinema, and a personal journey in which, at a very young age, she encountered breast cancer. Silvia was just 25 years old and already knew what it meant to be in induced menopause (which is one of the consequences of some cancer therapies). Today, however, we are not talking about her story, but about what her mission has become, which is Antonella’s own: to create culture on sexology, on all-round sexual well-being and on the right to sexual pleasure. For this reason, they called several figures to join them in the association, obviously including psychosexologists and a psycho-oncologist, but not only. “Sexuality has to do with the realization of the person, with respect for the other, with the creative potential, with inclusiveness”, says Silvia. With this word, often used for convention or fashion, they mean that for everyone of us desire and sexuality can have completely different meanings, which can be understood and accepted. “Sex – continues Silvia – is part of daily life, regardless of whether conditions linked to a disability or an illness are present. The focus is not never on disability, but on the person. We realized that in Italy, and especially here in the South, it is difficult to talk about sexuality and that little research is done: most of the studies are conducted across borders. Even among doctors we find a certain degree of sexophobia. We think it is time to do something to change this situation. “Yes, we are far from imagining a campaign like the English one led by the Relate association: poster by naked men and women, aged 70 and over, at bus and metro stops in London. But how do you change things then? With awareness raising events, training and experiential workshops (so far only online, due to Covid) that can provide both food for thought and very practical solutions. Which are what people are looking for.
Tumor, recover the playful aspect
Not too long ago, for example, the America Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO) published guidelines for addressing the consequences of cancer therapies. To treat pain during intercourse it is recommended, among other things, to use vaginal dilators. “But have you seen them? A woman already has to face the fear of illness, chemo, falling hair, loss of desire and the last thing she would like to do is also have to deal with a vaginal dilator “, says Antonella Amoruso.” Why don’t we start doing dilators with a slightly prettier design? At least let’s remove the medicalization from here and turn this cold medical object into a fun sex toy. This is just one of the many aspects that would be worth thinking about. As an association we obviously do not deal with the design of sex toys, but we work with people using many different languages, combining physiotherapy with yoga, the language of art, dance therapy. And we network with other associations, including those of women with breast or gynecological cancers, where everyone brings their knowledge ”.
Metastatic breast cancer, the #Metastabile campaign kicks off
Sexuality doesn’t have to be a problem
The point from which the two founders start, therefore, is that next to the word ‘sexuality’ there should never be the word ‘problems’, and that only by knowing the first better can the latter be solved. “We need to start listening to people before doctors. When I was doing cancer therapies – Silvia recalls – I experienced a strong disconnect between what the mind felt and what the body felt. Often, people with a disease like cancer are told: ‘with all the problems you have about sex, are you going to think?’ But this kills a part of that person. We – he concludes – are experiencing first-hand that there is a great need to speak about sexuality in a competent and serious way, but with a smile. To then play with it
