THEY HAVE discovered remote school. Dad, a word that a year ago could fascinate and please, because it allowed you to sleep a little more in the morning. But what now has imprisoned them, in a timeless life. Friendship has also arrived in which one communicates only with the computer. Walks, soccer games and Saturday nights in the pizzeria have disappeared. No more outings in groups, but only small walks in the neighborhood in two or at most in three. We are in the era of loneliness and a year after the first lockdown, teenagers find themselves back at home, with ‘suspended’ days. 24 hours often always spent at home. A situation in which, recalls Professor Giuseppe Lavenia, psychotherapist and president of the National Association of Technological Addictions, GAP and Di.Te Cyberbullying, adults should give answers that sometimes have not arrived in recent months. First of all by telling these guys the truth.
Professor Lavenia, cHow to explain to the kids that they will still have to stay at home?
“Telling the children the truth, with the right words, is always the best way. That the period is complex, that we are all tired of this situation, that we should learn to grasp the lessons from this moment and that we should make the most of all the opportunities even when it is difficult to see them, by now it is something that should be known to everyone. Of course, for young people it is an even more difficult situation to manage, but at the moment we cannot do otherwise it seems. And we all have to deal with it: adults , teenagers and children. So what do we do? We try to share as much as possible the emotions of this period, we encourage the children to talk about what they are learning with distance learning, and we invite them to imagine what to do when everything turns out to be better “.
Among them there are those who are worried about the controversy over vaccines and see no way out. What to reassure them?
“The children are worried, rightly so. The lack of sociability, the lack of experiences that help growth, learning, the development of relational and cognitive skills, are testing them a lot. Self-isolation, as a forced, in many cases, is becoming a volunteer. In fact, there are many young people who no longer find meaning in these days and close in on themselves. anxiety, depressive states, apathy, asthenia, but also anger, frustration, inability to imagine a future. Reassuring them is necessary, perhaps right now. And to do this, it is necessary to make them aware of what is the truth and the state of the art, drawing on reliable and institutional sources, if for example we talk with them about vaccines, safety and the arrival of doses. But let’s not tell him that everything will be fine as it was in the first lockdown, but let’s tell him that everything possible is being done to ensure that this situation turns out to be the best as soon as possible “.
What did we do wrong in the first lockdown. What are the mistakes we no longer have to make?
“Saying that everything would be okay when we did not yet know how things would turn out created illusions and fueled false hopes. This is a mistake to avoid when the facts are not known in their entirety. We have missed the opportunity to train. teachers and to sensitize children to self-listening, also through distance learning, introducing more activities dedicated to improving empathy and reflecting on many concepts used such as, for example, ‘resilience’. before”.
Families are reproached for not having given clear explanations. Even if we didn’t have them, did we still have to talk to them?
“Of course, you always have to talk to kids and when you’re not sure about something you can also say” I don’t know. “Talking about doubts and uncertainties makes us human, it brings us together. Covid has taught us that we should work harder on the concept of a sense of community and sharing “.
Dad falls back into their lives often 6 days out of 6. Long hours in front of the PC, before studying. How to help them?
“By foreseeing at least one day of detox from new technologies, even if they are the only tool that allow us to communicate with the outside world at this moment. Disconnect from these tools, sharing moments in the family, where things are done together, such as for example, cooking, or fixing things that have not been fixed for a long time, helps to return to the senses and to the body. Doing a detox with new technologies, then, also helps to live the routine, which is now made up of distance learning and long days spent in front of the PC also for parents, with fewer difficulties “.
Covid, adolescence experienced from a PC screen
How should the attitude of teachers change? The plans have remained the same but everything has changed
“At the beginning of the pandemic, teachers were completely unprepared to switch to distance learning. Many were not even so used to using technological tools, to be honest. First of all, computer skills must be adequate and a program must also be provided. of digital education, both for teachers and students. In addition, the times in which one is in front of the PC must be reviewed: an hour online is not the same as in the presence, need for more stimuli, rhythm, and must be foreseen greater involvement “.
How to help young people who suffer from anxiety disorders, eating disorders, technodependence, depression in this context …
“Those with these disorders need external help from a psychotherapist trained on these issues. You can also intervene online. What is important is not to underestimate the signals given to us by the children and to think that over time, when the emergency is over, everything will settle down. Let’s not forget that what we are experiencing is trauma, and it has consequences for everyone’s well-being. Mental health must be brought more to people’s attention. “
The other epidemic, cases of anorexia and bulimia increase
What are the tips for parents and teens?
“Sharing what you are feeling is always good advice, even not in times of a pandemic. Do not be afraid to show your frailties. Take stock of what you have learned during this year in which Covid entered our daily. Ask children to participate in their online life, and involve them in shared family activities “.
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Young people must learn to look at the world differently. We adults have to help them think about the future, how?
“The world will not be the same when this is all over, and it must be said. During this year we have seen most of the jobs change, we should try to talk to our children and analyze these changes together to reflect on them and bring them into. what will be our new routine. This is a period full of opportunities, even on the web, but we need to study together how to seize them “.
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