How to overcome the breakup of a relationship (in 10 steps)

How to overcome the breakup of a relationship? Working out their feelings, taking care of themselves and spending time with friends

Although every love story is different, they all have one thing in common: if they end they make us suffer. This is why it is important to know how to overcome the breakup of a relationship.

Yes, because the overwhelming emotions that you can feel after the end of a relationship are among the strongest ever. The world as you know it will look different and adjusting to life without a partner can be difficult.

For this reason, the feeling of emotionally living on a roller coaster is completely normal. Even knowing that everyone, at least once in their life, feels what it’s like to be heartbroken doesn’t make it any less painful.

That’s why we talked to two experts to ask them i best advice on how to deal with the end of a relationship. From tips on how to protect yourself from depression, chronic stress and anxiety, to explanations of the stages of bereavement you will experience after a breakup: all the tips.

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How to overcome the breakup of a relationship in 10 steps

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1. Know that being sick is good

Or so says Dee Johnson, a therapist at Priory Hospital Chelmsford: “We should accept that pain is a completely normal way to process any loss. So don’t put it aside and don’t feel silly. Accepting these emotions is a healthier way to overcome any difficult period ».

So it’s no wonder that you are feeling low because your brain is suddenly deprived of the feel-good chemicals your relationship aroused. Remember though: even though a breakup can be difficult, moving on is often essential to future health and happiness.

2. Physical pain is also normal: accept it

Have you ever noticed how when talking about the end of a relationship we (almost) always only talk about emotional pain? Some studies, however, have revealed that the pain of a broken heart after a breakup occurs both emotionally and physically.

According to Johnson, the most common symptoms are: headaches, sleep disturbances, exhaustion, loss or increased appetite, stomach aches and general aches.

“This happens because when you are under stress and constraint, stress hormones are produced, such as cortisol and adrenaline, which can trigger a loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping and anxiety, making our muscles naturally tighter and always on alert ». This mentality of never lowering your defenses, as well as chronic stress, can in the long run cause pain and health problems.

3. It is normal to feel bad, even if you have left

If you have decided to put an end to your story, you may feel like it is not your right to feel bad.

But that’s not the case at all: the end of a relationship hurts everyone: “In reality, leaving can sometimes be even more emotionally demanding than being left; as there is a mix of feelings of relief associated with the pain of loss. This often tends to create a lot of confusion, ”Johnson shares.

“You could mourn the loss of what you had in your best times, the hopes and dreams. You can also feel a sense of mourning for what should have been or could have been if things had been different. ‘

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4. It is important to recognize your emotions in order to heal

When it comes to advice on ending a relationship, we can confidently say that suppression of emotions doesn’t work – rather, it is better that these same emotions “keep coming back to haunt you”; or so says Sam Owen, relationship expert for Hinge UK. “On the other hand, reevaluating memories in a positive way can help you move forward.”

Then try this mental exercise: Identify and recognize each time you suppress a painful memory. So, do one active effort to move forward and make it part of your pastnot your present.

5. But don’t waste too much time ruminating

Owen warns that although it is absolutely right to experience various emotions and be overwhelmed by them before getting well, it is also essential to balance one’s feelings; without spending all your time ruminating – or obsessing over – about past events.

“Distract yourself with wellness activities – you could do anything from an exercise class to a hike, from reading a book to a cooking class,” he advises.

Looking back to learn lessons for a better future is vital for the personal growth and happiness of each of us. As well as learning to avoid dwelling on negative thoughts from the past“Rumination and worry are linked to both anxiety and depression,” Owen explains.

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6. Don’t be afraid to cry

Another important tip for overcoming the breakup of a relationship? Don’t be afraid to cry and express your emotions.

“If you feel like doing it, let the tears flow down your cheeks – Johnson shares – It can be a good remedy for pain and fear, but also a physical way to let go of the anger you have inside.”

In conclusion: do not reject what you are going through. It is real, it is valid and it affects your life.

7. Take care of yourself

This is a piece of advice that you have surely heard and resented: which is why it is true and essential to repeat it.

One of the best ways to get over the breakup of a relationship is make sure you take some time for yourselfto do the things we like most and to regain inner strength.

As Sam Owen says, it is essential to engage in self-care and self-love: it is in fact particularly important for avoiding potential mental health problems, such as depression or anxiety.

8. Ask for help if you need it

Whether it’s your best friend, your sister or a professional, seeking help and sharing one’s pain is normal. Indeed, it is the right thing to do if you want to get over the end of a relationship.

“Never feel foolish to seek help for your pain – you will never be less deserving than anyone else who needs support for their mental health,” Johnson shares. “Furthermore, ignored or unresolved pain can lead to chronic mental and physical illness “.

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9. Don’t say goodbye to your social life

When you are hurt and sick, you often want to be left alone: ​​withdrawing from your social life becomes all too tempting. However, locking yourself up at home will only end up making you feel more isolated.

“During a separation, people tend to withdraw socially – explains Johnson – But to better deal with the pain you need distract yourself from what happened. How? Through contact with family and closest friends or through work ».

10. To overcome the breakup of a relationship, identify the 5 stages of pain

This could help you elaborate, identify and overcome to the fullest the stages you will go through after the breakup.

The five stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and then acceptance. They have been universally adopted as the stages that occur after any tragic or traumatic event, from a bereavement in the family to the end of a relationship.

Psychologists, however, are keen to point out that everyone experiences their own reaction to pain differently and that these five phases do not necessarily occur one after the other.

However, the fact remains that, at the end of a relationship, each of us will go through the spectrum of emotions and it will come to the acceptance of what has happened.

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