Desire for lightness: for many, the holidays begin, with more free time to devote to love and sexuality. Whether you are single or in a couple, rediscovering sexual pleasure is an important step for your psycho-physical well-being as well as for keeping a love relationship alive.
And it is perhaps also for this reason that among the most popular readings under the umbrella (and in general on vacation) there is’ Be Kinky! – 12 (and more) experiences for a year of pleasure ‘, written by the expert in sex education Andrea Farolfi (Giunti Editore) which represents an invitation to experiment and have fun together with the discovery of pleasures that have to do with sensuality. On the occasion of the World Orgasm Day which is celebrated on July 31 and in view of the International Day of Female Orgasm (August 8), we try to understand from the point of view of health what can hinder orgasm and what, instead, it favors.
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The female orgasm
From pain during sexual intercourse, to painful involuntary contractions of the muscles around the vagina, to lack of desire and problems with arousal or orgasm. There are many issues that are often left unresolved in the female intimate sphere. In fact, in Italy between 30% and 50% of women have sexual problems during their life and sexual pleasure is also affected. “Orgasm – he explains Rossella Nappiprofessor at the University of Pavia and member of the board of the International Society of Endocrinology – foresees the perfect functioning of the peripheral neurovascular and neuromuscular system, but integrates a series of components of the central nervous system that have to do with mental satisfaction and mechanisms brain reward “.
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The obstacles to pleasure
But what are the female pathologies that can hinder reaching orgasm? “The main causes – replies Nappi – are related to pelvic floor dysfunctions, pelvic surgery that involves denervation of the genital organs, the main neurological diseases, but above all the use of some psychotropic drugs and hormonal deficiencies that block the orgasmic reflex. generated by genital stimulation “.
In all cases in which there is vaginal laxity as occurs after a difficult birth, an alteration of the so-called neuromuscular platform that triggers orgasmic contractions can occur.
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“All the pathological states that affect the integrity of the central and peripheral nervous system, from neurodegenerative to inflammatory and autoimmune diseases to spinal injuries and radical surgery, for example, for a cervical cancer interrupt the transmission of the messages that regulate muscle contraction and block the release of oxytocin which mediates the orgasmic response at the level of the central and peripheral nervous system “, continues the gynecologist.
Retrieve sexual efficiency
These are conditions that can be overcome and that should not be considered a limit to one’s sexuality. “To promote orgasm – explains Nappi – we need to work on the mechanisms that reduce our inhibition at the level of the central nervous system where the higher brain centers play the role of censors of sexuality. Therefore, space for fantasies, memories, stimuli and to the most hidden thoughts to force the excitatory systems to the detriment of the inhibitory ones “.
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It can also be useful to work on body awareness with pelvic floor exercises: “It is important – continues the gynecologist – to strengthen the muscles with electrostimulation and biofeedback techniques, as well as with radiofrequency to increase elasticity and peripheral innervation. small sex toys can help like Geisha balls that improve neuromuscular control and stimulate the blood supply to the genitals. “
A question of health
In addition to the pleasure it causes, reaching orgasm has a general beneficial effect. First of all because it relieves tension and makes us feel better thanks to the production of endorphins. But there’s more: a study in the American Journal of Cardiology reports that a regular sex life reduces the risk of developing cardiovascular problems by 45%.
For men, then, there are some more advantages. Often concerned about their sexual performance, many ask the andrologist how often they should have an ejaculation to be ‘normal’.
The doubts of men
“It is one of the most frequently asked questions I receive – he explains Salvatore Sansalonespecialist in Urology and Andrology at the University of Tor Vergata and member of the Executive Committee of the European Society for Sexual Medicine.
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“Although there is obviously no scientifically defined ideal number of times a day, a week or a month, frequent ejaculation is good for fertility and the prostate, so much so that it decreases the risk of developing cancer. To give an indication of maximum we can say that a correct ‘turnover’ of cells is obtained with one ejaculation every two days and 20 per month are even better, as established in a research presented some time ago at the European Congress of Urology “.
Pleasure without penetration
Woe to think, however, that orgasm is only penetrative. Numerous studies show that pleasure can also come without penetration. “Most of the women – clarifies Roberta Rossipsychotherapist and sexologist
of the Institute of Clinical Sexology – feels pleasure with direct or indirect stimulation of the clitoris. “What is meant by indirect stimulation?”
the position assumed or for the movements that are done together with the partner and that cause a friction on the clitoris “, replies the sexologist. And then some women achieve pleasure even with just the stimulation of the nipples, but sometimes they feel embarrassed for this and they fear that their partner may think he was not ‘good enough’ to make her orgasm with penetration.
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“The woman – explains Rossi – must not feel ‘wrong’ if she does not reach the peak of pleasure during intercourse, so much so that today we can no longer diagnose anorgasmia on this basis because the diagnostic manual for sexual dysfunctions has eliminated this criterion “.
Readings and documentaries to find out more
We all remember the famous film by Carlo Verdone and the phrase “O famo strange?” said by a character to invite the partner to have sex while the car whizzes at full speed on the highway. This expression gave birth to the term ‘famolostranista’ which indicates a person prone to experiencing unusual situations in sexuality.
But today we use the term ‘kinkster’ which refers to a positive, enjoyable, shared and fun sexuality as he explains in his book ‘Be Kinky!’ Andrea Farolfiexpert in sexuality education: “Whoever has a responsible approach to ‘kinky’ sexuality – he clarifies – is aware that some practices require adequate technical preparation, is informed through books, articles and seminars. All the experience of the discovery of various practices can itself be a moment of sharing and growth within the couple. An invitation to experiment and have fun together with the discovery of pleasures that have to do with sensuality, constriction, the exchange of power, sadomasochism and a guide to overcome many taboos and to have a creative and playful approach to sexuality “.
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And on the occasion of the World Orgasm Day and then the one dedicated to female orgasm, the Italian version of the cultural channel Arte.Tv (arte.tv/it) proposes a 360-degree reflection on the theme and suggests the best documentaries and animated series to stimulate dialogue and deepen the thousand faces of the sexual sphere: from the phenomenon of sextapes to female autoeroticism, from stereotypes to abstinence.