For about a month my five-year-old daughter has been calling me by name from time to time and I’m sorry, because I seem to lose my role as her point of reference. What could be the reason? How can I behave since I would rather call me mom? – Ilaria
When some adolescents begin to call their parents by name, often the reason is the desire for emancipation, sometimes even challenge, typical of adolescents. Think Bart, from the animated series I Simpson, and his contemptuous way of calling Father Homer. In the case of your daughter, however, emancipation has nothing to do with it, and quite the opposite: she is just trying to emulate you. “Children hear parents and other adults calling each other by name and begin to imitate them,” explains Darshak Sanghavi in his book A map of the child (A map of the child). “When your child calls you by name he is just ‘playing’ at being an adult, a bit like when he pretends to work on the computer”.
If you can resist, Sanghavi suggests first of all not to give too much importance to it and to wait for it to pass, without telling her anything. “If then the phase is late in disappearing by itself,” Sanghavi continues, “explain to your daughter that you like to have a special name in the family, one that only your children have the opportunity to use and let her know that it is a word. special that represents the beauty and uniqueness of your relationship “. In any case, this phase will pass quickly and without consequences, waiting to see if during adolescence your daughter will come back to do this trick on you, but with a completely different intention.
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