Weekly deadlines loom, and this column was written before the Supreme Court overturned the Roe v. Wade ruling.
We knew it was coming, thanks to the leak, but that doesn’t make the news any less devastating (who released the document? I bet on Ginni Thomas.) What now? We can demonstrate, donate money, and we can vote like the right has been doing for fifty years, that is, remembering that appointments to the supreme court have a weight. But if you want to take action here and now to piss off those celebrating the Dobbs ruling against the Jackson Women’s Health Organization, consider making a donation to the US National Abortion Financial Aid Network. In fact, don’t just evaluate it, do it now. It will be a long battle, which we will have to fight not only to restore to women the right to decide about their own bodies, but to protect all the other rights that conservatives want to wrest from us: that of heterosexual couples to use contraceptive methods, that of homosexual couples to marry. , that of anyone who wants to enjoy sexual acts that do not involve the penetration of a penis into a vagina (when they say they also want to overturn the Lawrence v. Texas ruling, as stated by Clarence Thomas in his reasons for the vote, they do not intend to criminalize again only the acts homosexuals, but also many of the heterosexual ones; Lawrence v. Texas invalidated the laws against sodomy, and anything that does not involve the insertion of a penis into a vagina falls under the legal definition of sodomy). If you live in the United States in a state where abortion became illegal overnight, here you can find information on how to practice abortion.
Warning. The language of this column is direct and explicit.
My partner and I are a heterosexual couple with a large age gap. He is the eldest, and we have a great sex life. For something like four years we had been discussing the possibility of me having sex with someone else. To him, who is older and has had more casual sex experiences as a young man, it seemed right that I could do the same (when we got together I was in my early twenties, and apart from him I was only with two other men). At first I told him that I didn’t feel any lack, but over time, talking about it and talking about it, I realized that for fun I wanted to try. We just got back from a vacation where I met a dude on a dating app, who I fucked (once and securely) while my partner watched (he’s not a cuckold and he didn’t attend). It was pure fun for everyone! I have a question about the so-called love hormone. I’ve always heard that when a woman has sex, her body produces oxytocin, a hormone that causes an emotional attachment to the sexual partner. For me, this has certainly been the case in the past. But with this last fuck I didn’t feel the slightest emotional transport! I’ve never had casual sex like that before, and I wonder if this “love hormone” isn’t only produced when you’re actually looking for a bond. Or maybe I didn’t warn him because my partner was there? Honestly, now I feel connected to him more than ever!
– Curious Casual Newbie
For some men – whether they are cuckold or stag, that is, males who, unlike the former, like to share their partner with no desire for humiliation – watching their girlfriend having sex with another means participating. The mere fact that your partner “only” looked, therefore, does not mean that her was a pure act of altruism.
As for your failure to establish an emotional bond with the holiday stranger …
“Oxytocin alone is not enough to create the link,” replies Dr. Larry J. Young. “There are brain mechanisms that can inhibit bonding after sexual intercourse.” Dr Young is a neuroscientist at Emory University, where he conducts complex studies on hormones and their role in bonding.
“It is not correct to define oxytocin as a ‘love hormone’, even if it is a formula that the media often uses,” continues Young. “Oxytocin amplifies – in our brain – the face, smell and voice of the person we have sex with, causing the brain to perceive them acutely. But what creates the connection is the interaction between oxytocin and dopamine, the neurotransmitter that creates the intense pleasure of sex: in practice, it is the interaction between pleasure (dopamine) and the individual’s sensory faculties (oxytocin) that creates a bond with sexual partner “.
And according to Dr. Young’s fascinating studies, which focus on a small rodent called a prairie vole, it’s possible to enjoy all the pleasure / dopamine you want without fear of developing bonds with strangers, CNN, as long as the bond with the your partner stays strong.
“Once a bond is established, the behavior of the brain’s dopamine receptors changes in a way that prevents casual sex with another person from making a new one,” explains Dr. Young. “One type of dopamine receptor helps make a bond, and the other inhibits it. Unbound individuals have more dopamine receptors than the former. Once the bond is formed, the inhibitory receptor gains prominence, which therefore inhibits a new bond “.
Which means, CCN, that you can have sex with other men safely – and whether or not your partner is present – as long as you still feel connected to your main partner, cuckold or not (I mean “safely” in the sense of “without falling in love with another”, not “without risk of contracting sexual infections). However, an important clarification is needed.
“The result is not 100 percent guaranteed,” says Dr. Young. “If the bond with the primary partner has weakened, your reader’s experience may differ from that of other people.”
I’m a man. A friend of mine married in an open couple told me that a mutual friend of ours greets her by placing a real kiss on her cheek every time, rather than just touching her with hers. It’s something he only does with her. According to my friend, the reason is that she has intimate relationships with another person in our group (not her husband of hers) and that therefore the friend in question considers her “in the square”. I heard it with my ears say that this friend “wants to give it”. I have known him for years, and the situation makes me very uncomfortable. The absurd thing is that he too is in an open couple, and he should have learned something. For example, to be less hypocritical and more respectful. Do you think I should say something? And in what way? I asked the recipient of the kisses, that she is a big fan of yours by the way, and she wants to stay out of it.
– Bad At Creating Catchy Acronyms
Let’s say you say something, BACCA, but without involving your friend. The type of man according to which a woman in an open relationship is sexually available to all – not only “she wants to give it”, but to give it to him – is also the type of man from whom any perceived ambiguity in the intimation to “stop” it will be interpreted as permission to continue exactly as before. It follows that if you can’t tell him that your friend explicitly told you that a) she wants him to stop, and b) that she has instructed you to tell him to stop, he will be convinced that yours is just a hypothesis (i.e. she doesn’t like it and doesn’t want to make a mutual friend) and that her hypothesis (that she likes it and wants to have it) is as good as hers. He might even try some pseudo-feminist stunt and accuse you of being the sexist who wants to control her: the body is his, the cheek is his, you don’t have to speak for him, and so on.
To make him stop without saying anything to him personally, BACCA, your friend must authorize you to make it clear that she was the one who asked you to speak to him on his behalf (“He asked me to tell you to stop, and I’m telling you. Stop it. you don’t believe me, ask him “). On the other hand, she must prepare herself for the almost inevitable next question (“Did I make you feel uncomfortable ?!”), for a sickly and victimized apology (“Oh my God, forgive me! Now I feel like a monster!”) And / or attempts at rationalization (“It was a thing in friendship!”) that are likely to follow.
And if he ever tries to kiss her again, the friend must be ready to use words (“No. I don’t feel like it. Stop it”) and / or to reach out. Not because he squeezes it (and then maybe pulls her to him and kisses her), but with his palm facing her chest and her outstretched arm (with her elbow straight!) To keep him from approaching.
(Translation by Matteo Colombo)