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Get to know some recommendations to cope with the grief of a pet

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Get to know some recommendations to cope with the grief of a pet

Mariana Suarez Guarin

People who have had the experience of living with and sharing a pet on a daily basis, be it a dog or cat, at the time of parting with them when they die represents a difficult test and according to some psychologists it is normal and natural for the pet’s guardian to feel deep pain. , since it was a strong bond that was created with these beings who for many are a faithful companion, an unconditional love that gave them security and joy and that they welcomed as one more member of their family. Paulo César González, psychologist, university professor, PHD in psychology, provided some recommendations to cope with this duel.
“Since the beginning of humanity, it has been possible to verify in different civilizations and societies the closeness that the human being has had with animals and not only for their use for the use of meat but also in domestic work, company and even worship . One of the civilizations with the most documentation on the worship of companion animals are the Egyptians for whom the cat and the dog played important roles in their cultural and religious systems. Society in recent years has experienced a profound change in the family structure, this is due to various economic, demographic, cultural and technological factors, among others. Today, more and more homes and couples decide to share their lives with a member of another species, a pet, a four-legged companion or fish, which are configured as pets. These beings are companions who fill spaces in people’s lives and their loss therefore creates huge gaps. In society we always talk about the loss of a loved one, we talk about when the grandfather died or an acquaintance loses his life due to an accident or illness; In the news the figures of people killed in wars are presented, but little or never, there is talk of the disappearance of a non-human companion, that is remitted to the personal level, to such an invisibility that it makes it difficult to process the pain caused by the absence physics of that being. The joy that was experienced with that companion is lost and time is required to heal, especially when it is a subject that is rarely talked about, so those who lose a pet often feel that their pain is minimized, it is related to weakness, it can even be a source of ridicule. In the face of the death of another human, funerals appease and help to cushion the pain, but these are rare in the face of the death of companion animals. When this occurs, the family and/or the caregiver usually experience feelings of guilt and thoughts such as “I should have taken more care of him”, “I should have taken him to another vet and look for alternatives”, “if I had given him other drugs and treatment”, come easily. among others, affect the person. Following the above, people experience feelings of sadness, anger, resentment, poor concentration, insomnia and apathy,” González explained.

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stages of mourning

For a long time, the existence of five stages of grief has been established in a classical way, which are: denial, anger, depression, negotiation and acceptance. “These stages help us identify what the person may be feeling after the loss. The first is the denial in which the person has illusions and thoughts where it is difficult for him to work and believe in his new reality, he even has illusions of coming home and seeing his partner present playing, sometimes he sees him in the street, Buy things you don’t need or call your name. Then the stage of anger is generated where an intense emotion of pain, anger and irritability appears that is usually directed at objects, strangers, relatives or friends, even the friend who has lost. After this comes a stage of emotional decline called “depression” which should not be confused with the clinical condition but with a moment of deep sadness, accompanied by crying for no reason and frequent anomia (difficulty finding the words to use and knowledge of a person) and almost at the end the negotiation appears, which is accompanied by the translaboration where there is a normal reaction to the feelings of impotence and vulnerability derived from the loss, people here feel the need to regain control. Finally, the stage of acceptance, which is a period where peace and tranquility is experienced, it is important to consider that each stage in each person is lived with a different intensity”, indicated Paulo César González.

How to handle the duel?

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For his part, Jorge Luis Morales Cartagena, a veterinarian and zootechnician from Pereira, referred to the misunderstood mourning that represents for the guardian, when his pet dies. “All human beings during life face multiple and diverse losses, which indisputably lead us to experience a duel. The loss of a loved one, with psycho-affective consequences, external manifestations, physiological changes, rituals and the evolutionary psychological process following the loss, is defined as mourning, according to Borgeois in 1996. The main focus of the interactions between humans and animals , lies in the impacts of the presence and behavior of people as primary causes in the affective and behavioral responses of animals; It is well established that people’s attitudes, motivation, understanding and skill formation influence the nature of their behavior towards animals. For this reason, it can be affirmed that the bond that exists between pets and the guardian will be defined by culture and personality. In practice, grief is not only evidenced exclusively in humans, animals also present signs and symptoms correlated to grief syndrome, depending solely on the interactions and affective ties between the same or different species. The recommendations are based on allowing the stages of normal evolution of grief to flow, known as the shock phase, the depression phase, and the recovery phase. Acceptance of loss is essential to mitigate the impacts of a depressive disorder, professional help in any case is vital. On the other hand, the environment, the memories, the important dates and the objects of association, will have strong psychological manifestations, the therapy with yoga and meditation, can be of great help, the strength in the family group and to establish enrichments in the animals. with positive affective impacts, it will minimize changes associated with immunosuppression due to depression. The manifestations and symptoms with which each individual responds to said losses are different”.

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