Home » Jealous of dad – Claudio Rossi Marcelli

Jealous of dad – Claudio Rossi Marcelli

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Our 11-year-old daughter has many friends, who are often at home with us. I have a good relationship with each of them. However, this leads her to have attitudes of jealousy. Do I have to change or will she be able to mitigate this often limiting emotion as she grows up? -Maximum

The net is full of articles explaining what to do when you don’t like your children’s friends. But I couldn’t find anything about the opposite situation: what to do when you get along too well? I’ll tell you how I think, with a premise: I love homes where children’s friends are welcome, where they can stay for dinner at the last minute or stop to sleep. I imagine your home as one of those safe havens where children, especially as teenagers, will feel at ease and where they will want to spend time. But the fact that your daughter is jealous of your relationship with her friends is a wake-up call that indicates a small imbalance.

Maybe she feels that you have a friendlier attitude towards them than you do with her or she fears that they will find you more sympathetic than her. It won’t be easy to pinpoint the reason for her discomfort, but the solution is simple: take a step back. Just as it is never healthy to become too friendly with your children – because it is not good for the role of parent – the same is true with their companions: you must be kind and hospitable, but do not cross the border of friendship. Your daughter is eleven years old and is learning hard to manage her relationships, and the figure of a father too present in her social dynamics can make her life difficult.

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