My 11 year old daughter has a beautiful friendship with a peer since the days of the nursery. They have always been inseparable, so much so that we parents have become friends too. Unfortunately, however, now they have begun to have frictions and are moving away. Is it too early to teach her that relationships with loved ones must be cultivated and protected? –Alessandra
“Most young people, especially girls, blindly believe in the idea of a life-long best friend. But for many of them it will prove to be an unattainable ideal ”, writes journalist Sherri Gordon, specialized in the fight against bullying, on the Verywell Family portal. “And also the idea of a best friend has gradually turned into a fantasy in which you never fight, you see each other often, you are always happy. The consequence is that young girls succumb to the pressure of finding a best friend and end up falling into the trap of trying to please everyone. And this ”, concludes Gordon,“ is not only unhealthy, but opens the door to cliques and bullying ”.
The lesson your daughter needs to learn right now is that friendships in real life are far from eternal and perfect. That if you don’t get along with a friend anymore, it’s okay to take a little distance and spend time with someone you are more in tune with, without feeling rejected or unfair. At 11, the only truly fundamental relationships are those with family, while friendships are a learning ground that a large number of people will pass through before your daughter begins to build deep and mature relationships.