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Sveltine – Dan Savage – International

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Sveltine – Dan Savage – International

Warning. The language of this column is direct and explicit.

I am a forty year old heterosexual cis. When it comes to men, I have very selective tastes, and I always find myself alone. Is there a way to be more open without giving up my quality criteria?

Either you’ve had a terrible sequence of bad luck – assuming you’ve dated more than ten men – or you set the bar too high. Food for thought: Maybe you think you want a stable relationship because they told you you have to want it – because that’s what good people want – but you don’t really want stable relationships. They don’t make you happy. However, instead of thinking of yourself as a good person who prefers short relationships and / or being alone, you have established extremely rigid criteria – bordering on sabotage – why you want to be alone. And instead of acknowledging this fact, you look for flaws in the men you hang out with.

Ps Those who are satisfied mate.


It is possible to have pleasant anal sex with a hemorrhoid?

No sorry. You have to wait for it to heal.


I am a 36 year old man__. If I get too excited to maintain an erection during (very rare) anal sex with my wife, should I just take Viagra?

Well, it depends. Does your wife enjoy long anal sex? If the answer is yes, then Viagra can be helpful. Because in addition to helping you get and maintain an erection, Viagra and other erectile dysfunction medications can delay orgasm. But if your wife doesn’t like long anal intercourse – if she usually wants you to hurry up and leave her ass alone – longer duration may make the already rare anal intercourse even more rare. What if you try a cock ring instead?


Any advice for a person with a penis who would like to penetrate longer, apart from cock rings? (Cockrings are great, but they don’t improve longevity).

Cockrings are fantastic, so much so that I was recommending them to another reader five seconds ago. However, if a tight-but-not-very-tight cockring can help keep a penis wearer’s penis hard by gently reducing the flow of blood from the aforementioned penis, a cock ring does not allow you to “last longer”, in the sense that does not delay ejaculation (from the basics of the cock ring: gently reducing is fine; trapping blood in the penis, no. The cock ring must squeeze, not choke). If you’ve already tried all the standard tips for dealing with premature ejaculation (which I’ve covered in the past and don’t have the space to re-re-re-repeat in a Quickie column), a drug like Viagra can help. the reasons referred to in the previous question); low-dose SSRIs (antidepressants known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) may also be effective in treating premature ejaculation.

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Ps Every time someone writes “penis bearer” my dyslexic brain reads “penis pruner”. And among body modification enthusiasts there are those who do it, specifically by cutting it in two. Bon appetit to anyone who has the courage to search for images on Google.


Those of us who love to fuck outdoors__, while hiking and camping, need to watch out for surveillance cameras and GoPros that for one reason or another people are hiding in the trees? How to identify them?

If there are those who do – those who hide cameras along the most popular hiking trails – well, yes, you have to be careful. Along the path you walk, you don’t sweep.


An ex boyfriend of mine is dating trans prostitutes. Should I tell your wife if the opportunity arises? And she will introduce herself, since we live on a small island. I, we were still together, I would like to know. Don’t you deserve the same chance?

If you really live on an islet – so small that everyone knows everyone’s facts, but big enough to house more than one trans sex worker – then sooner or later your ex’s wife will find out. But if she too finds out a little later, it would be better if she finds out from someone else. Assuming the ex’s wife doesn’t already know and approve, if the sentencing ambassador is a resentful ex – or who can easily be portrayed as such – it will be much easier for your ex boyfriend to convince his wife that she isn’t. real. Better if he finds out from the parish priest.


I am a young gay in a big city and I would like to give myself to sex work to round up. But I have no idea how to start. First steps?

First steps: get vaccinated against monkeypox, hepatitis A and B and hpv and start the prep. Then talk to other people who do or have done sex work. There are a lot of them on Twitter, and most of them aren’t there to seek out customers, but to stand up for their rights and build community. Follow them and learn.


I met a man who has a real talent for giving me multiple orgasms, but I struggle to make me cum even once. Some advice?

If he doesn’t want to come, don’t force him. No problem. But if he doesn’t come because you want him to come with your hand, pussy or mouth, and so he can’t, then there’s a problem, and it’s you. Let him enjoy oral sex, penetration and whatever else they both enjoy, and then let him orgasm using the skillful hands with which he pleases you. Problem solved.

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What is the best lubricant for anal sex in case of delicate skin?

We really like Spunk. For transparency: this is not a paid sponsorship, even if the last time I mentioned them in a column, the Spunk people sent me a box. It happened years ago… and we’re almost done. E-er.


We often talk about the alarm bells in dominators who do bdsm. And in the submissives?

Never play with a dom that tells an inexperienced sub that “real” submissives have no limits. It’s the loudest and most alarming wake-up call in all of bdsm. Conversely, never play with divers who claim to have no limits and / or don’t know how to ask for what they want. Obviously, a dom that says “You can’t resist” is more dangerous. But a diver who says “You have to guess” is not a much safer playmate. Divers of that type attract two types of doms: assholes who can’t wait to do what they like, even if (especially if) the diver gets traumatized, and inexperienced doms who don’t want to traumatize anyone, but who pull guessing – and making a mistake – risk traumatizing both the diver and themselves.


I am an undeclared bisexual who has finally realized that he wants to date women. Is it better to declare oneself to close friends and relatives and then give oneself to acquaintances? Or is it better to hang out for a while and declare oneself to straight friends and relatives only if I find a steady partner?

If you got away with it too – if you dated women without having to declare why you didn’t get involved with any of them – would you really want to live with the fear of someone catching you on an app looking for women or seeing you hanging out with a woman? And would you really want to be among those bisexuals who make bisexuality even more invisible and repressed than it already is? Declare it. And who knows that a friend of yours, perhaps very sexy, may not turn out to be as heterosexual as you are.

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Is It Safe To Lick Your Ass During Pregnancy? It would be me, the pregnant one, to lick your ass. Application from Sweden.

Pregnant women can satisfy any cravings (hello, Sweden!). I would add that I am not a doctor, with the hope that a real doctor will show up in the comments.


Ass licking has become mandatory to find a partner?

To find a partner no, to get a Swede pregnant it seems so.


After 23 years, my wife filed for divorce in early 2020__. We ended up going through the lockdown together, and in August she came back to live with me. We look great together, if it weren’t for sex. In May of this year we remarried. During the breakup, I had phenomenal sex. Our sex life is a mess. She doesn’t have the slightest desire and says I hurt her (I don’t have it that big!). Help us, Dan. With almost no sex, this marriage can’t hold up.

Get into a time machine and go back to discussing sex with your ex-wife before remarrying her. It’s true, you look great together, but if the sex wasn’t great already … it hardly would have been (con law the per lei) on the second round. A sincere confrontation at the time – when your ex-ex-wife was still your ex-wife – about what kind of marriage you could have had (platonic?) And possible compromise solutions (could you both look for sex elsewhere?) convinced not to remarry. And signing him up now could convince her to get divorced again. But sooner or later this confrontation will have to happen, and not having a time machine, that moment I know is now.

As they say when a man jerks himself upside down by cumming in his mouth? Is there a specific term?

Careful readers will recognize this question, which appeared in last month’s Quickie. I replied that a specific term does not exist – to define the act of wanking with the legs raised above the head and cumming in the mouth – but that it should. Many have written to propose “Shortbus”, from the independent film of the same name in 2006 in which a character jerked off cumming in his mouth. Other suggestions: “Peter Parker”, “self-service”, “internal transfer” and “closed circuit”. But my favorite – the one I hope will take root – comes from reader William H. via Facebook: “Proud Boy”, the anti-sawing neo-fascist.

(Translation by Matteo Colombo)

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