Love is something great and at the same time emotionally addictive. What am I willing to give for another person and what do I need from my favorite person? At some point in every relationship there comes a point where things no longer fit together. “The illusion of what love will be like has a shelf life,” says psychologist and couples therapist Berit Brockhausen.
Many couples know what makes a good relationship, that accusations don’t help, that closeness is important and communication is important. “It’s not a lack of understanding,” says Berit in an interview with the sex podcast hosts Melanie Büttner and Sven Stockrahm: “It’s a lack of ability and not wanting to.” Arguing is often easier than realizing that I won’t get certain things from the other person, no matter how much I want them. “If I mean well for them, I can’t spare couples this pain,” says Berit. Because then it’s about the core of how people manage to stay happy together.