“Your legs shake when the diagnosis comes.” It’s at Daniel Bossari, last year they shook. Cancer. A carcinoma at the base of the tongue. To deal with it, the conductor had to undergo heavy treatment. «Today you know that science gives you more chances of healing, but at the beginning it seemed to me that I was living in a nightmare, all certainties disintegrate. The first result is the destruction of the ego: suddenly you can do nothing but rely on others». And the others, for him, were there. «I received the immediate love of Filippa (Lagerbäck, his wife of five years and life partner of 22), but also of my family, who I felt even closer: my father, who had always been an example of strength, a man in one piece, rigid setting, a military career, he kept repeating to me “I love you”. My mom prayed. I find it fascinating to note how transcendental help is always sought in these storms».
«I have entrusted myself completely to science for the body but I have not closed the metaphysical hope. I too prayed, like my mother, and took refuge in love. After the treatments, which were quite invasive, I decided to tell about this experience that I had kept confidential with the thought that it could be good for others, since I too was constantly looking for other similar experiences to read».
«I’m fine, I’m in a very nice, productive phase. I want radiance, life and love: I’m exploring its power on a universal level. And I experienced a profound interconnection with the universe; it makes me reduce problems and anger: everything slips faster. I interview researchers, scientists but with a different awareness than in the past».
His interest in spirituality and esotericism actually has distant rootse.
«My research began by looking at the summer sky, by the sea, as a kid. I had asked myself the classic ancestral questions: who we are, where we come from. I wanted to try to achieve an awareness of our position in the universe and therefore I had started reading texts on astronomy, but it wasn’t enough for me. I turned to esoteric texts, philosophy, anthroposophy, also trying to make a parallel study of religions. Until I met a very important figure, Franco Battiato».
What did it represent for her?
«In him I found a master, even if he didn’t like to be called that. But in my case he was. I was doing meditation in a wild way, as he said. He taught me the techniques, the breathing and mindfulness exercises that I still do today: they give peaks of well-being and make you understand that we are but small grains of sand in the universe».
How did you meet?
«In 2007: he was in promotion with one of his records and he came to the radio, where I worked. I was quite fearful as he had a reputation for being quite a difficult guest to handle. In reality, we met right away and started exchanging a series of information: an affinity and a friendship was triggered. Not to mention that he immediately gave me a lesson: he had promised to send me the master copy of a film he was working on, Nothing is as it seems; it seemed impossible to me and instead after a week the package arrived from him. From there we started talking regularly and we even wrote a book».
He started his career as a DJ.
“It was exciting, beautiful. And, unknowingly, I had already practiced a number of techniques, such as visualization. In short, in my work, I started from the imagination: I had a very clear dream, that is to work in the radio and on TV. I listened to Jovanotti on radio Deejay and felt that I wanted to belong to that group, to do the same job. First you imagine it and then you try to make it happen».
And how did she do it?
«A key passage took place one evening, in a club in Milan, the Propaganda. There was a revival evening, organized by Cecchetto: it was the occasion of my life. Sneaking out, I slipped into the private room, plucked up the courage and went to Claudio saying: “I’m Daniele, I’d like to work in the radio”. He replied: “Okay, call me tomorrow”. I walked away delighted, only realizing later that I didn’t know where to call him. For a couple of weeks I called every day on the radio but they never gave me it. However, one evening, on my way home, I found a note from my parents: “Pierpaolo Peroni called you (at the time Cecchetto’s right-hand man, ndr.), says to call him back”. The next day at 7.30 I did it and he gave me an appointment on Monday for an audition. Jovanotti heard it and said: “Bravo this boy” and then I went on the air. I used to fly: I was 21 and it makes me laugh to think that I started with a program in which I talked about mental journeys».
“Another dream of mine. I had seen a promo on Mtv that said: if you are already a dj, become a vj. So I took a super 8 camera, made a box in which I introduced myself and hand-delivered it to the Milan headquarters of MTV. A few days later the call came: got it, go to London».
Another dream come true.
“Incredible. I continued the radio making connections from a station set up in the MTV infirmary: every now and then these girls with stomach aches would arrive, perhaps from periods, and in the meantime I would broadcast. I directed myself, inventing the figure of this supposed director, Alfred, whom I blamed when I did something wrong: I had so much fun».
Success was a real blast, right?
“But I, living in London, didn’t realize it at first. My agent told me that I couldn’t go around Italy alone but I didn’t believe it so one day I did it: I remember hallucinating scenes, where the police had to intervene due to the crowd that had arisen, complete with torn clothes . Over time I was shocked to see that if I put a piercing in my goatee, after a while everyone wore it ».
Then there was the move to Mediaset.
«To a larger audience, with programs such as Fuego, WhatsApp. Greatest hits”.
In those years Filippa Lagerback arrived.
«I had seen her for the first time in an advertising poster and perhaps I saw her there too, since I immediately thought: ok, she will be the woman of my life. I got to meet her right at Fuego and I began to ask the authors to invite her as often as possible. It was my courtship. It took you a little longer to make up your mind.’
What won you over besides the picture on that poster?
“His irony. The ability she has to make me laugh to tears with sagacity and acumen: she is very quick to make jokes about everything and I hadn’t found this in anyone. I think that she, in general, is much more evolved than me as a human being and she naturally is, without reading all the books that I read: she has an innate respect for others, love, sweetness, responsibility, civic sense, the bond with nature. In all these years she has always been close to me and by always I mean always, even in my moments of depression and pain: she was there ».
“Sometimes we argue and it’s always my fault. Really: I’m a hothead. In addition, having a hypersensitive character, I alternate peaks of joy with moments of discouragement: it is a difficult oscillation to manage for those close to me, even if I only understood it later with a therapeutic and psychological path”.
He spoke of his depression on television, during «Big Brother Vip».
«I think it is right to talk about it, that there is a certain urgency to seek a condition of happiness: to obtain it we need to start from ourselves, try to meditate even if we think we don’t have time. No one opens up to inner worlds: as soon as there is a moment’s pause, one picks up the cell phone and never stops to listen to one’s thoughts. But doing so already opens a door».
Is your depression a thing of the past?
“In my opinion, it always remains, even if I have treated it. Now I recognize the signs: it’s like a cycle, a breath. When I understand that ghosts start appearing again, I know how to deal with them: I got there after years of therapy and introspective research. But depression is like a little flame: it always stays there.
«During the years of great success I felt omnipotent: I was sunny, I faced life proactively, I had money, fame, everything. And I thought it would be like this forever. And instead I took the blows and it was one of the lessons of life: the crack that made me slide down into depression was born there ».
Why did he decide to ask Filippa to get married after so many years together?
«Before we didn’t really feel the need: the seal of our love was Stella, our daughter. I asked him during the Big Brotherbut, despite the fact that it happened under the eyes of the cameras, I had this desire matured in me and I jumped in: luckily he said yes and it was wonderful precisely because we were mature and aware of our choice».
What do you see now, in your future?
«I consider it a goal to have learned to focus on the present: this is my true inner change. My focus is linked to love, to surrounding myself with people interested in doing good, healing emotions: we are overwhelmed by emotional storms but no one teaches us how to manage them. I’d like to try it.”