When we were children, probably just having a complicity with someone or asking them to play together and making a new friend seemed like the simplest and most natural thing in the world. Instead, make friends as adults it may be more complicated than it was at a young age. Let’s look at the reasons why this happens and some tips on how to do it.
What is friendship recession?
The friendship recession it is a trend that, as reported by the New York Times, “predates the Covid-19 pandemic, but appears to have accelerated in recent years as levels of loneliness have increased around the world.” According to theAmerican Perspectives Survey conducted in 2021The Americansand men in particular, reported a massive decline in the number of close friends.
«As adults we have fewer opportunities to make friends simply because we are less likely to be pushed into new places or participate in new activities,” we read on the website Survey Center on American Life. «The majority (56%) of young people, aged between 18 and 29, report having made a new friend in the last 12 months. But our willingness or ability to create these bonds seems to fade over time. Among older adults, only 41% say they have made a new friend in the last year.”
Making friends as adults: why is it more difficult?
During childhood andadolescence, environments such as school and extracurricular activities naturally facilitate the formation of friendly relationships. As we grow, these opportunities not only decrease, but our energy is often monopolized by work, family or other commitments. Consequently, you have less and less time to dedicate to these relationships.
Furthermore, as adults we could become more selective and demanding about who they make friends with. Even past experiences, like trauma or disappointmentand fear of rejection can make us more cautious about opening up to others.
Friends are important to our well-being
Regardless of age, friends remain one significant component of our life. In fact, spending quality time with them can have a positive impact on your own psychological well-being. Sharing experiences, feeling understood and accepted, and having emotional support in difficult times makes us feel less alone, creating a bond and a sense of belonging with each other. But friends can too inspire us to grow as individualsdevelop different perspectives and learn new things, helping us overcome our limitations.
How to make friends as adults
First of all, sign up for courses or clubs that include regular meetings increases the likelihood of expanding our network of friends. On the subject, Dr Marisa G. Francoauthor of the book Platonic in which he explores how to make friends as adults, he quotes sociologist Rebecca G. Adams, who observed that “friendships arise organically when we have repeated unplanned interactions and share vulnerabilities.”
And if on the one hand i social network can increase the FOMO, that is, the fear of being left out, on the other hand they are also a tool that we can exploit to our advantage. Through groups, community o applications come Meetup o Hey! Vina (the latter dedicated to the female audience), it is possible facilitate connection with other people.
At the same time, it is also essential to have care for existing friendships. Organize an activity to do together, carve out a moment for a coffee or simply dedicate to the other small attentions how a message can make a difference. There is no perfect formula, as every relationship is different. But both to build new relationships and to maintain the ones we already have, patience, time and, sometimes, even the effort to take the first step are needed. The important thing is not to get discouraged and, above all, Don’t be afraid of not being appreciatedstaying proactive and open to cultivate new relationships.