Sveltine queer – Dan Savage

Warning. The language of this column is direct and explicit.

I come back from the nauseating marriage of my 30-year-old niece to the boyfriend she had been with for some time. Both of them both seem overly gay, but they are also religious fanatics. I could list fifty clues to their homosexuality, and anyone less than bigoted would say, “Of course, that’s clear.” The bride’s father, who also officiated, complimented him because they didn’t go to live together before the wedding (another sign). Personally, makes me very suspicious a hetero who does not have sex before 30. Abstinence from heterosexual sex up to that age, indeed, seems plausible to me only if one is gay or asexual. Our family is all very religious, and the only gay-friendly family members are us. I would very much like to communicate to the spouses that it is okay to ask ourselves about the facets of sexuality, and that we are on their side. They risk living uncomfortable for decades. My niece’s father, the one who married them, is more than a moralist and thinks that love (and marriage) can only exist between man and woman. Is there a tricky way to ask a person if he is gay? Or to offer her some support if she is not declared? How to make them understand that this corner of the family is ready to welcome and support them? If only they had asked me while I was trying to clarify my ideas.

Union Not Concealing Lgbtq Energy

Why go to the wedding when you can still play the pandemic card? Avoiding being at the table in a room full of unpleasant people with equally unpleasant friends, real or imaginary they are? Moreover, people probably not vaccinated?

Anyway, UNCLE, if the family knows you’re gay and / or gay-friendly – it’s not clear what you need to clarify – your task is done. Your niece knows that gays exist because you exist; he knows they live in the open because that’s what you do. He therefore knows that there are other possibilities, and that there is at least one family member to whom he can turn. But if you take the next step – an extreme step – and pick up the phone to ask if she’s a lesbian … if you list everything that you think proves that she and her husband are homosexuals … it’s even possible that she’ll admit it right there. . Unlikely, UNCLE, but possible. Most certainly, though, you’d be removed from the invitation list for upcoming family occasions – whether your granddaughter declares herself or not – which makes the phone call option much more appealing.

My nephew recently declared himself gay in the family. We all supported him, and I recommended some coming out movies like Boys Life. He appreciated the gesture. We come to the real reason why I am writing to you. While I love the company of women – I am a man – it secretly gives me pleasure to suck the nipples of muscular males. When I was at university I gave so much joy to several students and professors, taking pleasure in it in turn. Sometimes, if it was possible, I would come while a muscular man with big nipples dominated me, and it was heaven. In the family they know nothing of this other “side” of mine, and I find myself envying my nephew for talking. Maybe it’s a naive question, Savage, but are there others like me?

Pensively Examining Complex Sexuality

PS Maybe one day I too will have the courage to do as my nephew.

Yes, PECS, there are other bisexual males. Some love bibs, others hide from spouses and family members (thus exacerbating bisexual invisibility and negative effects on the psyche of bisexuals), and still others enjoy being dominated (because, let’s face it, it’s hot). So you are definitely not alone.

PS That day could be today.

***

I just wanted to thank you for giving me the push it took to come out to family. I told my parents two weeks ago, and my sisters the other day. And what do I find out? That my older sister is also bisexual. It wasn’t the reaction I was expecting, but it was a moment of revelation for both of us. I am 31 years old, and although I have been telling myself for years that labels are not important, now I feel that I have taken off a big burden. I am this and it is an important thing. Thank you for talking about bisexual visibility for a long time. Apparently I had to hear it repeated several times, before I realized that my bisexuality had a weight and declaring it was important for me and for the LGBTQ + community.

Proudly Unmasking Silenced Heart

Welcome to the world, PUSH, and how cool it is to find that you have – and always have – a bisexual sister!

I’m a man. When I was a kid I used to get crushed on girls but I was often too shy to approach them. I had a girlfriend for two years, and it was beautiful both emotionally and sexually. When we broke up – and struggling to find women who were attracted to me – I decided to explore my sexuality. That’s when I discovered trans women, and got confused. They turned me on a lot, even more than cis women, and this confused me because they were very feminine looking women but still male genitals. At first I thought it was a passing fantasy, but then I decided to try with some professionals. Encounters that excited me and made me enjoy a lot. Does that mean I’m gay? I’ve never been attracted to cis or trans men, and I can’t see myself having sex with them. I’ve always considered myself straight, but now I think it’s not the right label. Besides, I haven’t talked to anyone about it, but to my friends, trans women are men, and doing anything with them is homosexual. They are right?

Complications Implicating Straightness

They are wrong. You are a straight man who likes cock. The cock, not the men. And lucky for you, CIS, there are a lot of cocks out there that aren’t attached to men. It may seem like a complicated (and complicating) type of heterosexuality, CIS, but the label fits.

***

LGBT behaviors are neurotic, avoidable and treatable. The left has been lying about it for decades. One thing is exuberance, another is perversion. Most cases of sexual abnormality result from problems in bonding with parents that date back to childhood.

Sharon Offers An Opposing View

Let me guess, Sharon-rhymes-with-Karen (the “Karen” is a US stereotype of recent origins: middle-aged white woman, basically blonde, with the arrogance of well-being and racist enough, ndt): many, many, many years ago you caught your husband with a cock in his mouth – yes, that husband who didn’t take much initiative in bed (at least not with you) – and no one knows how your husband managed to convince you that it was just an episode, a moment of exuberance, a pindaric flight on the wings of a bird – things that happen. Here, today I come to tell you that it was not the only one. Your husband has sucked more cocks than you think, SOAOV, and less than he would have liked. And for the record: the lgbt abbreviation indicates people, not behaviors, and everything you say – that we are neurotic, that we can be cured, that we have little bonded with one parent and too much with the other – has now been denied by decades. I would invite you to read a little, but you better use the time to supervise your husband. By the way, where is it now?

(Translation by Matteo Colombo)