:quality(75)/cloudfront-us-east-1.images.arcpublishing.com/elcomercio/KBZ2M3LYEJEUXC6VUCNOCLGTN4.jpeg "This is how a compulsive cheater thinks: Can he change or does he live in a vicious circle? | christian dominguez | infidelity | HEALTH")
Being unfaithful can bring two things to life: momentary pleasure and misfortune. In the current situation, it is inevitable not to find out who was unfaithful to another, which is why psychologist Martín Zurita analyzes this impulse that both men and women suffer from.
“There are types of infidels, there are those who suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder who believe themselves to be self-centered and that will make them lack empathy. So, that gives the green light to have other relationships regardless of the cost,” says the specialist for Diario Correo.
According to Zurita, another characteristic of an unfaithful person is that they are very histrionic and theatrical. “They can tell you I love you and that you are the love of their life, they can even cry, but here we are talking about a compulsive being who does it repeatedly,” he explains.
Focusing on the compulsive cheater, their common factor is that they repeatedly ‘turn around’. “He also suffers from a psychopathic personality, which is a person with zero empathy and does not compromise affections,” he agrees.
It is important to highlight that the compulsive cheater does not see it as a problem, on the contrary, it is a lifestyle. “I think that in the real world there will be occasions where one will have to make decisions, infidelity is a decision that has to do with maturity.”
For the specialist, the person prone to being unfaithful has to learn to value everything they have achieved with their partner. That is, not exchanging a moment of pleasure for a lifetime.
“You have to be very conscious to make a decision that does not affect the quality of life,” he asserts.
Does the compulsive cheater change?
According to the professional, people of this type have little chance of changing since they behave under beliefs. In many cases, sexist and superiority ideas.
“This type of cheater has a low probability of changing because this behavior responds to a mental scheme that the person has, but we are also talking about a narcissistic person who has the same pattern,” he comments.
Taking this situation to the world of entertainment, it is common to see characters who fall into infidelity as a “vicious circle.”
Is forgiving an unbeliever healthy?
For Zurita, what is non-negotiable in life are principles and values. “If a person violated loyalty or trust, you can forgive him but there will be a conflict because he is going against you,” he explains.
“Forgiving is not forgetting, it is processing,” he adds. In cases of repetitive infidelities, it is valid to consider that there is not much to forgive because the person at fault can even lie in order to be forgiven.
How to overcome infidelity?
The first thing to do, according to Zurita, is not to put life in the freezer. “First go to therapy and connect with the things you like to do. Surely you are going to cry and suffer, but if you stay still that can lead to depression,” he concludes.