María has been with her boyfriend for three years. At first she lived in a perfect relationship, She was convinced that he was her prince charming. But little by little she was detecting behaviors that she did not like: He controlled her cell phone, called her often to see where she was, prevented her from seeing or talking to her friends…
Within her group of girls, these behaviors were seen as normal and they thought that María and her boyfriend were the perfect couple. But, little by little, these gestures became worse, shouts, threats and insults, until María decided to leave the relationship and realized that she was being a victim of violence.
Violence in relationships usually begins in adolescence. We talk about dating violence to refer to any abusive, coercive or violent behavior that occurs within a relationship in which both members are involved in a romantic or sexual relationship, with varying intensity and duration.
Many times it starts subtly and it is very difficult to detect its appearance. This violence can affect all types of young people who maintain an intimate relationship with another person, regardless of their sex, gender, sexual orientation, origin or socioeconomic level.
When we talk about violence we are not only referring to something as obvious as a blow. There are different types of violence:
Physical: any behavior that generates some physical damage and affects the integrity of the person (hits, slaps, wounds…).
Sexual: any attempt to get the person to participate in non-consensual sexual acts (forced kisses, touching, rape…).
Verbal: use of words to threaten, blame, minimize violent acts, insult…
Social: social acts that threaten the physical, mental or relational integrity of a person, the most common form being isolation.
Psychological: actions that generate psychological damage. For example. generate fear, intimidate, isolate, blame without measure, humiliate, threaten to stop loving…
Another element that may be present in relationships of this type is harassment, understood as a pattern of repeated and unwanted attention and contact by a partner (current or former) that causes fear or concern for the safety of an individual victim or partner. someone close to the victim.
Besides, It is important to note that it is increasingly common for these behaviors to occur through social networks and the Internet. Electronic dating violence involves actions of control, harassment, abuse, coercion, threats, and/or humiliation of a partner through digital devices.
What are the consequences?
The incidence of dating violence varies depending on the type of violence (physical, sexual or psychological) and the country studied, varying between 27.7% and 70.7% of the young population. Specifically in Spain, according to a study carried out among university students, the incidence of violence is 53.2% of the population, figures that are worrying. In fact, it is often an invisible phenomenon: people who suffer from it very often do not reveal it and it is difficult for others to perceive. It is estimated that one in three women in the world has suffered physical or sexual violence by her partner at least once in her life. These may be some of its consequences:
Psychological: emotional problems (anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorders…), low self-esteem, submission, dependence, suicidal ideas due to humiliation, devaluation, insults, threats, manipulations, blaming, social isolation and loss of decision-making.
Social: social isolation, absenteeism from work or school, loss of friends and social support.
Physics: injuries, trauma, wounds, forced sexual relations, sexually transmitted diseases, risky pregnancies and abortions and death.
Others: insomnia, alcohol and drug abuse, consequences in the future of the victims…
What causes dating violence?
There is no single reason that causes dating violence to appear, although it is known that there is a strong relationship between having suffered or suffering violence and perpetrating it. Its appearance is caused by both personal and interpersonal variables, including lack of family support, blaming the victims, social and family acceptance and tolerance towards abusive relationships, intergenerational transmission of violence and poor management of emotions.
The behaviors that develop during the first romantic relationship are linked to the social norms that are learned during the first years of development. In many cases, this knowledge is obtained from messages in the media and from the observation of relationship behaviors in the socio-family nucleus, often marked by the presence of symbolic violence (stereotypes, messages, values or signs that They reinforce and reproduce relationships based on dominance and submission and encourage the repetition of relationships based on inequality and machismo).
However, there are factors that favor the appearance of violence:
believe in existence of superiority of one sex over the other and growing up in a sexist environment.
Stereotypes and traditional gender roles.
Behavioral stereotypes that give rise to attitudes and behaviors associated with control and violence as tools to maintain any type of relationship.
Social and family values associated with violence.
Lack of experience and training in effective conflict resolution, lack of assertiveness.
Partner violence as a social problem and its prevention
A big problem around dating violence is the acceptance of it as something normal and as normal couple problems or things that are not identified as violent or abusive behaviors.
There are factors that favor the acceptance of violence:
The exposure to violence It causes acceptance of this as normal, so that violence within a relationship encompasses behaviors learned as normal.
Blaming the victim.
Perpetuate myths of romantic love and sexist beliefs.
Accept violence due to its gradual appearance that prevents its identification.
However, intimate partner violence can be prevented and these are some keys:
Skill improvement such as interpersonal communication skills, conflict management and shared decision making.
Personal empowerment developing self-confidence.
Improvement of services responsible for attending to and detecting cases of violence.
Environment creation insurance against all types of violence.
Establishing nurturing family relationshipsprohibiting physical punishment and carrying out parenting programs for fathers and mothers.
change of attitudes, beliefs and norms about harmful gender stereotypes that perpetuate male privilege and female subordination.
In conclusion, it is a complex phenomenon that affects an alarming percentage of the young population. From its most obvious manifestations to the subtle forms that characterize it, violence leaves lasting psychological, social and physical consequences. The consequences are profound, and prevention is urgent.
*Esperanza Barroso Corroto, Predoctoral Research Staff Prejccm 000002, FACULTY OF PHYSIOTHERAPY AND NURSING TOLEDO, Castilla-La Mancha university and Juan Manuel Carmona Torres, University Professor at the University of Castilla-La Mancha, Castilla-La Mancha university
This article was originally published on The Conversation. Read the original. Also published in RED/ACCION and republished as part of the “Human Journalism” program, an alliance for quality journalism between RÍO NEGRO and RED/ACCION.