How do I (finally) find the right person? The book “Pudelnackert” by the two Viennese authors Lila Sauerschnig and Stefanie Scharaweger is dedicated to this question. As in their podcast of the same name, the qualified psychological consultants get to the bottom of the different reasons why relationships fail – or why they don’t want to get rolling right from the start.
Being constantly faced with setbacks in your search for a partner can be tiring and fuel insecurities. But showing yourself to be vulnerable again and again and not hiding behind protective walls – making yourself emotionally “naked”, hence the title – is the foundation for a successful relationship: “Real love is the result of genuine being.”
Another central point for the love coaches is self-acceptance: “You can learn to accept yourself as you are. Unique, wonderful, lovable and special. With really decent flaws, rough edges that simply define you.” Luckily, this doesn’t mean having to love every edge.
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A good relationship with yourself can be achieved through a lot of self-reflection, breaking up old patterns and concentrating on positive beliefs:
I am always lovable. I am capable of relationships and continue to grow with a partner. I have to give a shit. (Or: It’s okay the way it is.) I’m the coolest no-drama banana ever. (Or: I am a confident woman who thinks positively.)
The authors approach the complex topic with a lot of Viennese insults. The appendix is also charming: a small encyclopedia of “Viennese-German” for all those who don’t want to have “Gschisti-Gschasti” with the dialect expressions. Sometimes there is a lack of depth and old role clichés are rehashed, but the pop culture references that make you smile make up for it.
It remains to be seen whether the book can cure heartache and pave the way to your dream partner – but it is certain that the pain will subside after reading it because the tears of laughter it provokes have washed at least some of the grief out of your system.
Lila Sauerschnig, Stefanie Scharaweger: “Pudel-nackert: Make yourself vulnerable and ready for love”, Gräfe and Unzer, 19 euros
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Author
Lena Gattringer
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Lena Gattringer
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