;Resize=(1200,627)&impolicy=perceptual&quality=mediumHigh&hash=8a9af9ff634ad9b41784dca976511038522105acffeaa5b8dc1f013aa9d2f546 "“Free Use”: why the new sex trend is dangerous")
“A lot of people have asked me what ‘free use’ means. It means that legally I always have to say yes to my future husband – even if I don’t feel like it – in order to prevent a divorce.” With these words, a Tiktoker describes a new sex trend on the platform. Over 600,000 people have already watched the five-second video. If you search for the hashtag “freeuse,” thousands of such sequences appear. Young women say they like things “a little harder” or “a little more spontaneous” – and therefore agree to this agreement.
What does “Free Use” mean?
The practice comes from the BDSM scene, writes “Bild”. Adults agree in advance that “at least one of them can request sex from the other person at any time without asking.” Most of the time the woman gives her consent. The appeal of it? The woman feels like a sexual object and experiences rougher sex.
Why is “Free Use” problematic?
However, experts do not consider the trend to be unproblematic. On the one hand, because it requires a lot of experience and communication between the two sexual partners. Nadine Beck, the author of a youth educational book, emphasizes this to “Bild”. The practice is “not for people who are still practicing the game of sex, consent and communication, but for advanced people.” However, a lot of young people, some of them children, also use Tiktok.
The author also considers the image of women conveyed to be problematic. Because they are usually the ones who are the “freely available part” in the relationship. This is “sociopolitically difficult”.
How can “Free Use” succeed?
In order for a sex practice like “Free Use” to be successful, the author advises first establishing trust in the respective partner. Otherwise, injuries could occur, for example because the person was not ready – both physical and mental.
She also emphasizes that there should be no power imbalances in the mental maturity of the two partners, nor should there be any dependencies. Consensus is necessary for this. And this doesn’t mean that opinions shouldn’t change again. “Consensus also needs to be practiced.” Just because someone said “yes” at the beginning doesn’t mean that you can’t then notice that it’s not good for you. The consensus therefore has to be “checked” again and again.