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What it feels like to be in psychiatry

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What it feels like to be in psychiatry

A young man looks out the window of a regional express that drives past a forest. Image: dpa

Because of his depression, our author visited clinics, took medication and received many tips. Looking back, he says: The care of the mentally ill is anything but optimal. Still, you can’t give up.

In April 2022 I was in the ER because I couldn’t take my depression anymore. That’s what I told the doctor there. He wasn’t impressed. He didn’t even put me on the waiting list for a place in a psychiatric ward. Instead, he handed me four tablets of the sedative Tavor and advised me to walk more. But Tavor I had enough at home – and most importantly, I had already taken enough.

I had barely lasted a day in the previous three weeks without the strong sedative, the active ingredient of which is lorazepam, which belongs to the benzodiazepine group of drugs. The tablets should only be taken in emergencies, for example if you have acute suicidal thoughts. Dependence is imminent after just two weeks, and withdrawal is often compared to that of heroin. I took the pills and went home. I had no idea how to proceed.

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