Warning. The language of this column is direct and explicit.
How soon after a divorce does one become “emotionally available” to a new relationship?
Those who initiate a divorce – those who make the decision, get a lawyer and start the proceedings – are likely to be “available” a little earlier than those who were caught off guard when their spouse filed for divorce (not a real “request” , because you don’t need their permission to divorce someone). But if the person initiating the divorce was experiencing violence, it may take him longer to recover from the marriage than the “caught off guard” abuser. And if the marriage has run out of batteries after ten or twenty years and the decision to divorce is agreed and amicable, both parties could find themselves “emotionally available” before they have even taken off their wedding rings, let alone after the divorce is finalized.
***
Is being “vaginophile” acceptable in 2023? Regardless of the other person’s gender identity?
Absolutely yes. The dick is cool, I’m a fan, but it’s not for everyone. The same goes for pussy. I find it strange how often the same people who believe that demisexuality is a legitimate orientation (and it is), and that sapiosexuality is a legitimate orientation (and it is), and that asexuality is a legitimate orientation (and it is) do then about-face arguing that homosexuality (attraction to people of the same sex) or heterosexuality (attraction to people of the opposite sex) for some reason aren’t (which they are).
***
Advice for those who have never licked an ass but would like to?
We’re not about to run out of butt – our strategic national stockpiles of butt are well stocked – so don’t feel like you have to gorge yourself the first time you try it. Take your time. Suck the dick or lick the pussy of your partner fresh from the shower, slide towards the perineum, then sink in – give the hole a couple of licks – and back towards the perineum, taking the time to evaluate, after which, if see that you like it as much as your partner, dive back in.
I’m staying at my boyfriend’s parents’ house for a few weeks. I need to have sex. Advice?
I would suggest you fuck your boyfriend. If you don’t feel like fucking us at her parents’ house, fuck him on the roof, fuck him in the showers at the gym, fuck him in the nearest bar with separate toilets and lockable doors. Obstacles can frustrate desire, it’s true, but they can also fuel it, provided you take them in the right spirit.
***
My relationship with my husband – who is everything to me – is in trouble. We were together for a few years, after which he was arrested for drug possession and went to jail, and our contact broke off for 20 years. Then one day I saw his profile on Facebook and we ended up talking for a long time. One of the reasons I hate blowjobs is that as a teenager, a guy forced me to give him one. He says that blowjobs are what he wants the most. He has to get them done, full stop. I’m getting heaving. I vomit, I get angry and sad. He usually doesn’t even get hard. I really wish he would fuck me, but apparently it’s not meant to be. He’s always horny, while I’m menopausal and don’t feel like it. He is convinced that you don’t love him anymore! Help me please! We don’t want to get lost! Or at least I don’t want to lose him. He is mentally devastating me. He is very insistent. He wants one blowjob a day. At any time. I can’t last until he cums. I have a dislocated jaw thanks to my ex husband. You are my last chance to save the day.
Anyone who sees their partner crying in a puddle of vomit after engaging in sex and says, “You have to do this every day forever or it’s over” is an asshole. Force him to expose himself: tell him that she can leave, but that if she chooses to stay, there will be no blow jobs. I can’t guarantee she won’t leave… But whether you agree to your terms (stop demanding blow jobs) or follow through on her threats (I really want to see him, find blow jobs elsewhere), you’ll win.
***
Is it normal for a gay man not to be interested in penetration?
Usually gays like penetration (doing it, receiving it, alternating), but not all gays like anal sex. “There are those who prefer so-called external sexual acts, or outercourse, or anything that doesn’t include penetration,” replies Dr. Joe Kort, the psychotherapist and writer who went viral this year by coining a term to define homosexual males not interested in penetrative sex. “To others external sexual acts may seem preliminary, but in that case the implication is that the main act is penetration, while some gays are neither active nor passive. I am sidesor ‘without penetration’”.
***
Best lubricant for vaginal penetration?
Foreplay.
***
1. How many people have had sex with more than one member of the same family? 2. Has anyone had sex with all members of the same family? 3. Parents included?
- I do not know. 2. I don’t know. 3. I hope not.
***
I’m a gay man who likes to have threesomes and have fun with gay couples. How to tell a person you’ve had threesomes with (half of a couple) that you’d rather have sex with him alone because you don’t like his partner much? It’s happened to me a couple of times lately.
Be explicit with what you like without being cruel with what you don’t: “I wish we could see each other again, but just the two of us.” If he asks you why, be honest: “I like you, but not your partner.” If the two meet “only together,” if in the context of their relationship a one-on-one encounter constitutes cheating, well, then you’ll either have to fuck them both again (which you wouldn’t like) or find someone else to fuck (which you shouldn’t). be too difficult).
***
Am I a freak if I’m dating a married man who doesn’t have sex with his wife and has kids in college?
I will.
***
Does taking it from the back make your ass bigger? More muscular?
Passive anal sex ≠ squats: they inject sperm into your ass, not steroids.
***
I’d be curious to know what kind of men Dan Savage finds attractive. Also: Does Mr. Savage like receiving sexually explicit photos from fans?
Mr. Savage is especially attracted to men with what he calls “puppet faces,” meaning men with big mouths, big eyes, and other prominent features. None of the men Mr. Savage dated and/or married ever considered “puppet face” a compliment, despite Mr. Savage’s sometimes spasmodic attempts to explain that “puppet face” was not only a compliment, but the greatest compliment he could bestow. For the record: Mr. Savage doesn’t require partners to don plush overalls, spread chocolate chip cookie crumbs on the bed, or leap out of garbage cans and shower him with insults. Mr. Savage likes sexually explicit photos. Puppet-faced men are welcome to send them.
***
A young gay friend called his ass “cunt” in front of me, cis female, and he wasn’t having sex at the time (you wrote last week that young gays sometimes do it during sex, with sexual partners, and not with their girlfriends). I found that offensive and told him. He rolled his eyes. And now? I don’t want to spank him, but maybe I have to.
I’ll gladly spank him for you, as long as he has a puppet face and a nice cunt.
(Translation by Matteo Colombo)