I have a four-year-old girl and after a failed attempt to remove her nappy last year, we are trying again. I know that at her age it still happens that we don’t control ourselves, but we seem to spend our days cleaning the floor and washing clothes. How do we get out of this tunnel? –Gea
All parents happen to have bad days and if I could go back in time to change one, maybe it would be this: we lived in Switzerland and my daughters were around four years old; the diaper had been removed for a while but there were still some accidents, but with two twins it was double. Upon returning from the park, I realized that my daughter had pooped herself, soiling her underwear, tights, trousers and even her boots. And I lost my patience: I scolded her screaming that she had done a mess and that I had to clean up all that crap. I was beside myself and she looked at me in silence with her giant eyes, while I blamed her in an absolutely unfair way.
Today my heart makes me think about it and if I could go back I would like to change her clothes gently, tell her that it doesn’t matter, that accidents happen and that’s okay. Which is what I’ve always done since that day. A child who is late in coming to need management can be very frustrating for a parent, I know, but it’s important not to give in to fatigue or anger. Don’t take it as a tunnel, but as a stage in parenting life where you need a little more patience. So soon it will all be just a memory, and not a remorse.
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