Les pieds dans le sable. We’re sitting on the beach. Atlantic, sun, wind and waves. In addition to the surfers out in the sea at a reasonable distance, a few aliens, kayakers with martial outfits and helmets on their heads. Have you ever seen anything like this? our landlord asks. Sure, I say, in a torrent in the Alps, but here, in the waves? No. What are they doing here? Kayak surfing, says our landlord, that’s the latest nonsense.
You have to say: The aliens manage to surf the wave halfway, even if it looks stupid, but paddling out is pure slapstick. As surfers push their short boards underwater and slip under the breakers, any attempt by kayakers to get behind the waves is tantamount to a head-on crash. Why are they doing this to themselves? Looks dopey and not harmless. So what’s the point?
New sport, says our host. New nonsense in pursuit of the next big thing, the next trend sport, the next business. But it looks like you can’t sell kayak surfing to the tourists whizzing past the beach on motorbike-sized e-fatbikes. Let’s get back to the surfers, the locals who show how it’s done far out there. And the beginners who dry practice on the beach how to get from lying down to standing upright on the board.
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Germans, our landlord says, you’re not really into sports. What does he mean? Well, football for example, he says, is already losing against Poland, as you read. Poland, I say, are not a bad opponent, have you ever heard of Lewandowski? Or by Błaszczykowski. Isn’t he already a grandfather? he asks. Not the youngest anymore, I say, but not to be underestimated as a player with extensive experience.
Schwarzenbeck or Schlotterbeck
Ah, our landlord says, that’s why you’re still playing with Schwarzenbeck in defence. Schlotterbeck, I say, Schlotterbeck! Schwarzenbeck or Schlotterbeck, our landlord says, maybe you should consider trying other sports. Doesn’t always have to be football or Formula 1, golf or tennis. How about something new, maybe kayak surfing, there’s not that much competition.
Not a bad idea, I think, but if we do it, then do it properly. Then we’ll turn our Frankfurt football academy into a darts development center and then the French will take a good look around when we’re La Grand Nation in darts in no time at all. But tonight we’re going to watch a rugby match on TV with our landlord. Rugby, not a topic you should discuss with a French person either. Could be embarrassing again.