Caroline was my boss. She left on January 4, 2024 after more than two years of illness. During insomnia, I wanted to remember her and the little things that connected us like Georges Perec’s “I remember”.
I will remember our “catch up” meeting on July 23, 2019.
I will remember my surprise.
I will remember your smile.
I will remember our complicity. I will remember my immense pride in experiencing it. I will remember my modesty when I happened to talk about it.
I will remember our disagreements.
I will remember our flashes.
I will remember your listening.
I will remember your Wednesday spinning sessions.
I will remember our late conversations with Patrice.
I will remember our doubts.
I will remember your gentleness.
I will remember the ringtone of your phone.
I will remember disappointing you. I will remember your phone call. I will remember being afraid of disappointing you again. I will remember how lucky I am.
I will remember that you impressed me.
I will remember how you told me about your daughters.
I will remember your hesitations. I will remember thinking “she was right”.
I will remember our digressions. I will remember our ability to always return to the initial subject of our conversation.
I will remember your delays.
I will remember that I felt good in your office. I will remember saying to myself “I’m bothering him with my moods”. I will remember your interest in my stories.
I will remember your trust.
I will remember your announcement.
I will remember your brownie.
I will remember your calm.
I will remember that I missed you.
I will remember Olaf.
I will remember your long hair.
I will remember the uncertainty.
I will remember my tears when I told you that you matter to me.
I will remember our last meeting. I will remember my two contradictory certainties when I leave.
I will remember January 4, 2024.
I will remember a presentiment.
I will remember Thierry’s call. I will remember my phone calls.
I will remember gritting my teeth.
I will remember being sad not to receive a response to my last message.
I will remember having forgotten. I will remember remembering.
I will remember that it is okay to cry.
I will remember this commitment to myself.