How the author was supposed to fulfill a performance improvement plan and ended up burning out. Azatvaleev/Getty Images
When I got a new department head at my job, I was forced into a performance improvement plan.
Although I was already doing good work, I worked particularly hard at night and on weekends.
I was taken off the benefit plan and given more work but no raise, so I left the company.
I had been working in the legal industry for a number of years and felt comfortable in my role, having received several positive annual reviews and regular praise for my work. Then we got a new department head; we didn’t get along. Nobody seemed to be able to cope with her authoritarian leadership style.
She seemingly changed processes just to change them, meddling in every little thing, making dozens of changes to everything, and not trusting the team to do the work we had been successfully doing for years. I love process improvements, but it made our work unnecessarily difficult. We had to work nights and weekends to keep up.
After a few months, the pressure and stress started to take a toll on my team. Several employees developed frightening, significant stress-related health problems. I too was frustrated and angry on a daily basis.
I contacted a member of management with my concerns. I thought someone could get her to take some of the pressure off of us.
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A few days later, my direct supervisor informed me that I was being placed on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) for poor work. I was shocked, angry and horrified. I think it was because I complained.
At the time I was married, had a small child and was the main breadwinner of the family. If I had lost my job, I would have lost everything.
I did everything I could to keep my job, no matter the cost.
To me, the PIP meant, “This is our first step toward layoffs.” No one wants to stay where they aren’t wanted, but the job market was very tight. I applied everywhere and had a few interviews at one company. They went well, but the job was canceled before the offer stage. I was stuck.
I had to figure out how to stay in my job. It was clear to me that I had to become perfect.
Every day I put on mental armor, put on a fake smile, and became as formal, distant, and neutrally friendly as a servant of the royal family. Every email I sent had to be reviewed and approved by my manager first, which was tedious and humiliating. I met with her daily to discuss projects and report on progress. It was demoralizing, but I grinned despite my grimace and pretended to enjoy it.
I came to every meeting super early, “happily” offered ideas, and spoke up when the new department head asked who wanted to take on a task. I praised her, laughed at her jokes, and complimented her ideas. I worked nights, weekends and holidays at the expense of my family. I was burned out and unhappy.
To some people this might sound like “being a good employee,” but I was already a good employee. I had been providing proof for years. My work product was unchanged. I still met every deadline, stayed on budget, and regularly received praise for my work. But now I forwarded every positive email to my manager.
I finally changed my boss’s opinion of me
The PIP lasted three months. After two months, the department head was pleased to see how hard I had worked. I think praise and encouragement to overwork are toxic, but I was thrilled and humbled to be recognized.
Every day I hated my job more than the day before. I was under so much stress that my health began to suffer. I was hospitalized for palpitations and an irregular heartbeat—stress-related, no wonder—but I continued answering emails on my personal phone. I needed this job.
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When the PIP ended, my manager said that the department head was not only excited about my “turnaround,” but was also promoting me to lead the largest, most important projects in our department, which would require more hours and far more pressure every day . When I asked if the promotion came with a raise, my manager said no and added, “At least you’re off PIP, right?” That’s true.
Eventually I left that job to find a better one.
Six months after the PIP, the job market eased and I got a better job – with a pay rise, free parking, flexible working hours and the opportunity to develop my skills in a different direction. It wasn’t more work, but better, more interesting work.
I left the company on my terms, not theirs, and that was a great feeling. Since then, I have continued to expand my skills and develop professionally. I am satisfied with my work every day. I now work from home and my diverse skills are in high demand.
The PIP surprise taught me a valuable lesson about life in a company: trust no one, do whatever it takes to survive, and don’t stay where you’re not wanted.
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