From above: the new podcast of Julia Louis-Dreyfus – Wiser than me / Jane Fondaone of the first guests on the podcast, on the cover of the May issue of People Magazine / Julia herself on the cover of the June issue.
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The task: listen to wise old women
(Originally published in my column in Lasha)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus62, just recently launched a podcast that she dedicates to conversations with women who are older and wiser than her (her quote), after she discovered that her voice was missing in her life, or as she says: We don’t hear enough from old women. In one of the first episodes she is a guest Jane Fonda, 85, actress, activist and American icon, who takes the growing-up process as a project to which one must devote thought and generously dispenses insights. For the benefit of those who don’t have the strength to listen to the whole episode (about an hour, but you can fast forward the commercials, and there are a lot of them, thank God, kudos to Julia), or who don’t have the patience to listen to conversations in English, here are some highlights:
1. It’s not scary. When you’re deep into old age, a soothing Fonda, it’s not as scary as it looks from the outside.
2. The number itself doesn’t matter, what matters is your health condition. Henry Fonda, Fonda’s father, died at the age of 76 but she felt he was much older than her because he had a heart condition. She herself is healthy (after dealing with cancer) and active and therefore feels young. Although she immediately bothers with the caveat that when she was young she was never as happy as she is today.
3. It’s hard to be young. Despite the cultural belief that it is hard to be old, it is much harder to be young. She wants to convey the message to young women: everything is fine with you, it’s not you. It’s just hard to be young.
4. The most important thing is to move. Fonda is convinced that she feels vital and healthy thanks to the fact that much of her life has been devoted to movement and building muscle mass. Even today she trains, but slowly.
5. In a relationship with the body: She thanks her body and has already stopped visiting it, but in the same breath points out that she has been living alone for years and there is no way she would undress today next to a new lover.
6. In a relationship with the body, part II: When Julia asks Jane if she misses having sex with men, she admits that she does, but reassures her that since the coming-of-age vibrator episode of “Grace and Frankie” people have sent her plenty of vibrators so she’s settled in that respect (her favorite vibrator: the rabbit ).
7. In a relationship with the body, part III: Fonda did plastic surgeries and she regrets them, but when she decided to do them she was not yet a woman who could come to terms with growing up, so she has no choice but to live with this decision.
8. Think ahead. In her divorce agreement with Tom Hayden, it is clearly stated that he is not allowed to speak at her funeral. She continues to add to the list people who will not be allowed to open their mouths at the ceremony. And yes, she has already chosen the place and the flowers. And no, she’s not afraid to die, she’s really looking forward to it, like a new adventure.
9. The importance of the third act. Jane divides life into three sets, up to age 30, between age 30-60 and age 60-90 (she doesn’t think she will live past age 90). She says that at the age of 59, while married to Ted Turner, she realized that she was about to enter the third act and that she had no idea what her plans were for this act. As an actress, she knows that this is the important campaign: the campaign that removes the fog over the first two acts. The campaign that will determine what your legacy will be. At that point she didn’t know what she wanted yet, but she knew what she didn’t want: she didn’t want to die with regrets.
10. Looking back to move forward. She devoted the year between the ages of 59 and 60 to understanding her life up to that moment. She says that only when you understand what were the important events in your life do you become wise.
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Five years ago Julia Louis-Dreyfus received the Mark Twain Award and her speech from this evening is exactly the stuff that those who like to laugh and cry at the same time need: