Source Title: We chatted with 100 young people about their love views | Theater Special Project
Nowadays, young people seem to be less and less interested in love.
In recent years, people have talked about love on social media. Most of them are “love is precious, and it’s good to be alone”, “I like making money more than being in love.”
From longing for company to falling in love, it seems that loving oneself is far more important than loving others.
Is this really the case?
We launched a survey on contemporary young people’s love views, and chatted with more than 100 iQiyi users about their love views through questionnaires and in-depth interviews.
To be honest, if I didn’t look at these data, I would almost believe in the nonsense of young people’s “love incompetent”.
The questionnaire shows that 85% of young people who say love is not important think that love is an indispensable part of their lives, while those who say they love themselves more, 81% choose to make a moderate sacrifice in their relationships.
Even more surprising is that 82% of young people said they would secretly get off work and watch romance dramas, but they would not tell anyone.
Do they still believe in love and how they will love? Here may be the answer you want.
NO.1
To accompany the rest of your life or fast food?
In today’s fast-paced era, people have different definitions of love.
In the last century, people talked about love, often swearing each other with each other, saying that they would spend the rest of their lives together. Many lovers will send such nauseating text messages: “If there is an afterlife, let us be a pair of little mice, stay together stupidly, love each other stupidly, and live in a daze. Even if the snow covers the mountains, we can hide. In the warm haystack, snuggling and biting their ears.”
But today, this kind of romance has obviously not adapted to the pace of life of young people. They are increasingly pursuing efficiency, busy choosing a piece of clothing, watching the next drama, and even love is paying more and more attention to efficiency.
OK, just together. No, just the next one. Love happens as fast as it disappears.
The post-00 user @No Stars of Secular Desire tried to interpret the reason for the faster pace:
“Although the information is very advanced and the times are changing rapidly, we can meet many people every day, but it is difficult to have a special relationship with one person.
There are many people around me who confirm the relationship after meeting a few times, and then love to die. But both bystanders and themselves know that they don’t really like each other so much.
Nowadays, love is always “find someone to accompany”, and then “change someone to accompany” after getting tired. This is not love, but eating together. “
Fast-food love is becoming more and more popular, which is of course inseparable from the busyness and high cost of time for young people.
But for a deeper reason, although young people in this class have more entertainment than before and can browse a larger amount of information, there are very few things that really allow them to experience the “freshness”.
As a result, the unpredictable and elusive love has become a pungent bottle of “life spice”, which is no different from playing a game that is “difficult to clear and slightly challenging”.
Finally, the game is cleared more and more frequently, and love occurs more and more frequently, and the time of each love is getting shorter and shorter. The frequency of love is proportional to the speed of breaking up.
NO.2
The efficiency of love, and its side effects
Whether in the past or now, people always pay attention to the right person in love.
It’s just that in the past we talked about each other, referring to the family background and educational background of both sides, but now young people care more about spiritual equalization than material things.
Especially in the devotion of love, the two parties don’t have to be 50-50. But when one party makes the other party feel that “I love you a little bit more”, the alarm of love has been sounded.
@食悦, who is still in college, talked about a fast-food love in the freshman year, and they rushed to the internet after chatting for a long time.
“The first time we met, I waited for him at the gate of the school for 4 hours, which was a foreshadowing. Later on his birthday, I gave him a set of skin care products, but on my birthday, he only said: Happy birthday. I am not that kind of material girl, but I will mutter in my heart:
Am I in your heart not even worthy of a gift?”
Shi Yue said that she still yearns for a relationship that can feel the dialogue between the soul, but looking back at why the other party is with herself, it seems that it is more from an inner emptiness.
Busy people have little time and patience to fully understand another person. To some extent, love is the same as work. KPIs are hidden.
There are also a lot of people who don’t care about their business at all. They care more about whether each other can give each other the comfort of the moment when they are together.
@Ella, who returned to China not long ago to start his own business, said:
“Now I like a person, and I don’t ask that I have to be with the other person and have an ending.
I care more about the period of time when we cherish and love each other more than possession. I will spend the rest of the time at work. “
She was decadent for love, but then she realized that there is still a long way to go in life. Not all feelings can have results. A better love may be side by side instead of looking up like a little girl forever. other side.
In today’s fast-paced era, some young people’s requirements for love have changed from growing old together to “Can I get a good experience at that moment in love”.
Pursue the freshness and pleasure brought by love within a unit of time in the relationship, with the goal of pleasing oneself and maximizing the efficiency of love.
NO.3
Believe in true love, but more willing to wait
Everyone knows that if you want to get love, you have to give love first.
In this survey, more than half of young people believe that although love is not the whole life, if it conflicts with work, they are willing to sacrifice work for love. More than 81% of young people said that when love makes him feel that he has lost his life, he will sacrifice for love appropriately.
In fact, everyone knows in their hearts that if you want to truly have an intimate relationship with another person, you need to exchange your sincerity for your sincerity. Sincerity is a kind of consumable. Nowadays, in order to avoid excessive consumption of oneself in love, the concept of love is more inclined to “a good meal is not afraid of late”.
I am willing to work hard for love, and I have the ability to bear the disappointment after paying my sincere heart, but I hope that when I finally enter the marriage, I will get a better ending.
The tenth-level web essay enthusiast @ Tun Tun provides another perspective:
Many people fall in love, and marriage is no longer an inevitable result. Intimacy itself is very good, but it is necessary to distinguish the distinction between intimacy, love and marriage.
Some people are considered lovers, but in fact they have not established an intimate relationship. Some people are husbands and wives, and they have no close relationship.
It’s just that a structure like marriage will force you to have to work hard to build it, but some people may fail.
I am very eager to establish a true intimate relationship, and many times require a lot of wisdom in it.
Not only do you have to meet someone who is willing to maintain a relationship with you, but you also have to keep pushing forward in getting along, which in itself is a particularly difficult thing.
In fact, the process of establishing intimacy is often not happy, because you are discovering what you were afraid of discovering and avoiding.
But if I am afraid of trouble and I refuse to have the possibility of establishing intimacy with these people, I will shut myself off and at the same time lose more opportunities to establish intimacy.
“Moonlight Variations” director Zhang Boyu once said: “It is not difficult to start a love, but the difficulty is to maintain the relationship.
At the beginning of love, everything is very beautiful or even blind, maybe the shortcomings of the other person are all lovely.
But after a period of time, I returned to the life of two people getting along, maybe the shortcomings of the other side really turned into shortcomings.
To maintain a long-term relationship, we must tolerate and communicate with each other, tolerate each other’s imperfections, frictions in life, and consider issues from the other side’s standpoint.
A healthy and benign love relationship requires two people to work hard together to find a balance between them. “
Young people still believe in love and are willing to pay for it. They are also willing to believe that better people will appear and will not easily fail their true heart.
NO.4
Love yourself, the starting point of contemporary love
The movie “Rejuvenation” once said: “The highest state of loving a person is to keep watching her until her life ends. I will bear all the sadness and pain of lovesickness until I disappear into this world.”
Today, loving yourself is like the starting point of love. People are increasingly seeking spiritual independence in their relationships.
Some of the friends who shared believe that this is accompanied by the awakening of female consciousness.
@星星 said:
“More and more women don’t like to trouble others.
Everyone feels that they should be independent, stop relying too much on the other half, and get what they want through their own abilities. “
Some people have also put forward a novel point of view—independent musician @一个精品的北 has combined the universal incompatibility with the factors of the times. She believes that the increase in only-children has contributed to the changes in the broad view of marriage and love.
“The tolerance for the only child to enter into love may be less than that of previous people. Everyone will think about themselves more. I think you fit in with you, and we will be in love for a longer time. Once I think you are inappropriate, I don’t want to We break up immediately.”
For whatever reason, everyone is paying more and more attention to “autonomy in love.”
NO.5
Realistic love and spiritual love need both
A new type of love that makes money without losing money
Nowadays, more and more young people are experiencing different forms of love, love moods of different ages and life situations through online while in real love.
In recent years, episodes of high-sugar love have always been updated from time to time, from “Dear Love,” to “Moonlight Variations” and “The Day That Became You” in the Iqiyi Love Theater this year.
In romantic dramas, there is no bloody breakup, and there are no real contradictions that cannot be resolved. Romantic drama has become a spiritual massage for contemporary young people to please themselves and even stimulate new thinking about love.
Love drama male lover @七月 refers to this as the “dream expectation value” of young people living in the first-tier cities of Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Shenzhen.
“Our work is too tired and the frequency is too high. We need to have a new expectation every once in a while. He is not an ideal in life, but a comfort in his own heart.”
82% of young people choose to secretly brush romance dramas to gain strength after get off work.
One of the reasons is that romantic dramas are in line with the fragmented lifestyle of modern people.
@沫沫, who is preparing for an exam recently, feels that any episode of a romantic drama will never fail to keep up. When you are tired, you can choose to cut the sugar without wasting time.
And another reason is that today’s new love dramas perfectly meet the psychological expectations of young people for love.
An intuitive change is that in the romantic dramas of the past few years, the overbearing president helps you solve everything.
But nowadays, in romantic dramas, it is not about what boys help you solve, but boys and girls start to help each other to solve problems.
In “The Day That Became You”, the roles played by Liang Jie and Zhang Xincheng are a good interpretation of this new type of relationship between men and women. Through the exchange of souls, they feel each other’s work, life, and even the joys, sorrows, sorrows and joys of each other’s gender.
Boys will also be more vulnerable, which is more in line with the concept of equality and even power in contemporary love.
Through this in-depth dialogue with users, we also feel that the pleasure brought by romantic dramas to contemporary young people is far beyond imagination.
I probably understand why those who said they only watched suspense dramas during the day secretly chased after Xiaotian drama at night and couldn’t stop.
This is probably the unspeakable happiness of the sugar sugar people!
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