“She WAS the most beautiful baby in the nursery. It took him four years to learn to speak. Up to a year and a half he never called me “mom”. That was the first alarm bell which, through a series of aids, allowed us to understand that Agnese first learned the emotions of words. And it was precisely through emotions that he learned to express himself ”. The words are from Bernadette, mother of Agnes, 17 years old. But the story is all about the girl who wanted to transpose it into a book. Is titled Aspy girl – How I wish the world understood us (Erickson Editions), and is the work before Agnese Spotorno. Aspy stands for Asperger, as the young woman has seen a mild form of this autism spectrum disorder recognized. Agnese is, without a doubt, a “special” girl. His brain is different and with his book he offers a testimony of how much parents, teachers and therapists must “learn” to deal with the excellence, difficulties and habits of those who relate through emotions, rather than with the canonical words that characterize the inter-human relationships of every day.
Autism, the risk indicators can be identified already in the first 12 months
But her story also allows us to shed light on a condition, that of girls with Asperger profiles, still little known and in some ways unrecognized. Epidemiology, in fact, makes it difficult to frame the situation of those who in the Anglo-Saxon world are defined “Aspie Girls“. And not just because the condition is much rarer in females – so much so that it is a 1 to 8 ratio compared to males. The great difficulty, in scientific terms, lies in understanding that the ways of presenting the picture can be extremely varied in young people. The key word to understand what happens is the inability to adapt to social norms on their own. For this it is necessary to hide the social “confusion”, which manifests itself with phenomena of anxiety and a sense of inadequacy, but is reflected in a sort of “permanence” on the margins of social life. through strategic imitation, altering one’s nature or remaining on the margins of social activity. But the problem is another: it is difficult to recognize a clear “phenotype” of the Asperger’s female profile. Every little girl, girl or woman is original, and therefore having the keys to understanding becomes really complex.
Autism, families increasingly alone in the pandemic
by Maria Teresa Bradascio
A book to understand
In this sense, the story of Agnese, written by a teenager, becomes a sort of request for understanding by those who do not want and above all must not disguise themselves to please those around her. The girl offers a living, new and very interesting testimony, capable of clarifying the peculiarities, difficulties, habits, excellences and limits of those who live with a different brain to parents and teachers. And above all it is the manifesto of those who “claim” recognition, through words. Also and above all in the family.
Longform
When autism is an adult affair
by Maria Teresa Bradascio and Fiammetta Cupellaro
“What happens in the life of families where an Aspy girl is born, therefore with high functioning autism is that her ways of feeling (touch, sight, hearing, taste, smell, balance, sixth sense) and thinking (memory, limited interests, reassuring routines, stereotypies to compensate for emotional stress), to read or write and understand what others say or write are experienced by parents as deficits to be overcome and normalized – we read in the introduction of the volume, which part of the series “I feel different”. Instead it must not be like this: family, school and friends must know how to “enter” in connection with a different story and experience. It is not easy, but it is basic. No Aspy girl will ever be able to “normalize” because her brain works differently from that of neurotypicals. And we must not expect the behavior to come into line with that of others. For this, reading can help parents, teachers, educators and psychologists understand. “Agnese’s point of view, intuitions and empathies when she manages to manage them without stress or anxiety, are her strong point – it is still the mother who speaks. But when it gets too full they can trigger deep crises, intense anger, screams and tears, which are not easy to contain and calm down. His different feeling today finally has a name, a diagnosis: mild autism. Her face lit up with serenity, relief and a sense of liberation, because she no longer feels wrong or different from others. This will allow her to realize with even more courage and determination her desire to be of help in making everyone understand what the difficulties and beauties of neurodiversity are ”.
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