«My love, I don’t even know where to begin, how to say things that can do you justice, that can help, if not understand, at least guess who Barbara was. The versatility of your personality, its infinite facets and at the same time your kind simplicity that made you accessible and open to everyone, without exception”. Thus begins a long post on Facebook that Michele Bellandi, the companion of the psychiatrist killed in Pisa at the Santa Chiara hospital, dedicates to the love of her life. «You were so tiny, with that slender but also strong and snappy little body of yours: a perpetual motion, almost impossible to stop, so much so that in the family we nicknamed you Kangurina (with a K)».
After the memory in the Aula Magna of the University of Pisa by family members, this is the first real public reflection that the woman’s partner after her killing by Gianluca Paul Seung, a 35-year-old former patient, then arrested by the Pisa mobile team. «It’s funny, for many years you worked in the addiction department: but no drug gave more than your presence. Even for your beloved dogs, always mesmerized by your deep and penetrating gaze. And the various trainers you loved to contact to understand every single aspect of your best friends, they were all appalled: no one had ever seen such a close relationship and such total dependence in their decades of experience.”Bellandi writes again.
Which explains how this woman loved her job: «Your dedication to work was total. You weren’t a doctor, you were born a doctor: at the age of 6 you decided you would be a psychiatrist and so it was. Yours was a mission in which you always gave your all. You weren’t interested in personal glory, money, you shunned appearing in the newspapers. You were pure substance, you were doing towards appearing, you had a thousand ideas and an incomparable problem solving ability». And again: «No threat, no offense, scratched you. All those who, not infrequently, tried to get in your way, left defeated from the start. Their individual interests, often selfish or parochial in any case, collided not only with your iron determination but above all with your desire for something superior: you never acted out of personal interest but only with the idea and concern of make your patients feel good, protect your colleagues, precisely with the idea of ”doing the right thing”. That’s why you were unbeatable.”
Finally a poignant memory: «You were our comet, you were the light of the family, you dedicated time to each one, individually and then all together, you were the center of our chats, with your often provocative statements. Often criticized, rarely “recognised” – at least not in that context – for everything you did for us, like all great leaders”.
Bellandi’s gaze turns to the past: «We often said to each other that alone we would be two “wretches” but that together we were invincible. I hope to find the strength to continue to be so even without you by my side, above all to take care of what was your greatest concern: “Your children”».
The last words are in line with what the killed woman taught Bellandi: “Thank you for accepting me unconditionally as I am, well aware of all my shortcomings; thank you for all that you have taught me and for having left me and all of us an indelible example. My love, you will be here, with us, forever.”