Is that normal? – The sex podcast
“I thought about male perpetrators until I realized: It’s my mother”
More about this podcast What they do to children is often trivialized or overlooked: women who commit sexual violence. About the motives of the perpetrators and the lifelong consequences for those affected
Trigger warning: DThe contents of this podcast episode may trigger discomfort, stressful memories or even flashbacks for some people.
They are often particularly subtle and perfidious: women who sexually abuse children. Female perpetrators are unimaginable for many, which is why they are perhaps less likely to be noticed than male perpetrators of violence. Even their victims are often unsure when attacks began and boundaries were crossed. This is reported by a victim whose mother sexually abused her for years. She talks about being at the mercy, physical and psychological violence and the consequences that to this day make it impossible for her to live in everyday life without fear, tension and pain.
“The problem is often that we don’t recognize what we don’t know,” says psychologist Johanna Schröder. And at the same time, there is an assumption that the actions of female perpetrators are more harmless than those of male perpetrators, says psychologist Safiye Tozdan. Together, the two researchers surveyed women in Germany who were sexually interested in children. The podcast hosts Melanie Büttner and Sven Stockrahm talk to them about the motives of perpetrators, about pedophilia among women and the question of how attacks can be prevented.
More about our guests
Johanna Schröder is, among other things, professor of clinical psychology and psychotherapy at the Medical School Hamburg and Dr. Safiye Tozdan is a psychologist and sexologist at the University Hospital Hamburg-Eppendorf. Together, the psychologists carried out the research project “Sexual Child Abuse by Women” on behalf of the Independent Commission for the Examination of Child Sexual Abuse. The results were published at the end of 2021. We would like to thank those affected who experienced sexual violence and share their experiences in this episode. She remains anonymous, her name and her case are known to us.
Further information and offers of help
Specialized psychotherapy can help you deal with the consequences of sexual violence and other trauma. Psychotherapists with additional trauma-oriented training can be found here:
Help for those affected by sexual assault and sexual violence:
Sexual abuse help portal: Help for those affected by sexual violence in childhood, their relatives and other people who want to support them. Advice by telephone (anonymous). Wildwasser eV: Help for children, young people and adults who have become victims of sexual violence. White Ring: Help for crime victims. Advice by telephone and email (anonymous). Violence against women helpline: Immediate help for women affected by violence. Advice by telephone, email and chat (24/7, anonymously, in 17 languages and sign language). Federal Association of Women’s Advice Centers and Women’s Emergency Hotlines (bff): Offers of help for women affected by violence. Online search for help options close to home possible.
The Prevention network Don’t become a perpetrator offers a free, anonymous and confidential treatment program throughout Germany for people who feel sexually attracted to children and suffer as a result.
More sex podcast episodes on the topic:
All sex podcast episodes also on www.zeit.de/sexpodcast.
Do you know our book? Is that normal? Let’s talk about sex the way you want it. You can find an online reading on YouTube to watch.
Follow the sex podcast hosts, the doctor and sex therapist Melanie Büttner and the ZEIT-ONLINE deputy head of knowledge and digital, Sven Stockrahm, on Instagram at @melaniebuettner1 and @svensonst and on Twitter: @svensonst.