Emerge stronger from crises: psychologist reveals how to do it

The Catholic News Agency (KNA) spoke on Thursday in Potsdam with one of Germany’s youngest professors, the psychologist Eva Asselmann (33), about personality traits, how we deal with crises differently and why it’s good that we’re not all the same.

KNA: Ms. Asselmann, you recently wrote a book on personality development. What shapes us the most? But determines the childhood – right?

Eva Asselmann: Early childhood experiences are definitely formative. However, we tend to overestimate these and underestimate adulthood experiences. Because we can continue to develop even as we get older. For a long time it was thought that personality development was completed at around 18, 19, 20 years of age, similar to body growth. But we now know that it does not end. We keep changing.

KNA: What events change the personality?

Asselmann: If you ask people what changed their life the most, most would say: the birth of my child. Surprisingly, this is not the case in scientific studies. We find clear changes in people who start working life or retire. Professional experiences seem to play a major role in personality development, possibly even more so than personal experiences such as marriage or having a baby.

KNA: Why is that?

Asselmann: That could be because you have clear role expectations in your job: I have to be punctual, I have to do my tasks reliably, I have to behave in a friendly and courteous manner. And if you deviate from this, there are usually superiors who point out that it just doesn’t work that way. In private, we don’t have this kind of feedback. There are fewer clear role models. You have a vague idea of ​​how you should behave as a parent. But it’s not that clear.

KNA: Which characteristics can be used to describe personality traits?

Asselmann: In personality psychology there are the so-called Big Five. These are five characteristics that explain a significant proportion of differences between people: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and emotional stability. We all have some expression of all of these characteristics, just in different strengths.

KNA: How are these characteristics expressed?

Asselmann: Open people are those who are very interested in new things. They travel to foreign countries, like to try exotic food and are enthusiastic about art. Conscientious people are very orderly, reliable and hardworking. Extroverts are sociable, talkative and tend to be dominant in their interactions with other people. Agreeable people are friendly, helpful and approachable. Emotionally stable people deal well with stress and challenges.

KNA: Is there a specific characteristic of these five qualities that is particularly advantageous in coping with life?

Asselmann: Higher levels tend to be slightly more beneficial because you are more able to cope with challenges. For example, if you’re conscientious, you’re likely to do better at work because you prepare content more thoroughly and work more proactively toward important deadlines. And healthier too, because you are more likely to attend check-ups, for example.

But even lesser characteristics bring certain advantages with them, which is only more easily overlooked. For example, if I’m not conscientious, I might run the risk of mine Apartment sinks into chaos, but that in turn has the advantage that I don’t overdo it with tidying up and cleaning. If I’m less compatible, I’m more likely to clash with others, but I can assert myself more easily in salary negotiations.

In addition, as a society as a whole, we benefit greatly from the fact that we are all different. If we were all the same, our society would not be viable at all. We have a lot of different niches in everyday life. In order to serve them, we also need different personalities.

KNA: What influence do crises have on personality development?

Asselmann: There’s a saying: Anything that doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. But research shows that’s not the case. On average, stressful or traumatic experiences in particular do not lead to us becoming more stable. On average, it tends to make people more fragile, vulnerable and anxious when confronted with major blows of fate.

At the same time, of course, not everything is always peace, joy and pancakes, and we also need certain challenges in order to develop further. You can grow from challenges if they are manageable and the stress is not so intense that we feel broken.

KNA: We are in a time of many crises: Corona, the Ukraine war, rising energy prices, high inflation. How can you train to deal with it?

Asselmann: We are evolutionarily programmed to perceive the negative much more than the positive. That’s because you used to have a survival advantage if you were susceptible to threats – you could just react to them with lightning speed. That’s still how we are. And that’s how the media world works, because you get a lot more attention with negative news.

It is useful to be clear about this, to limit the consumption of news and to deliberately consider what positive things are happening at the same time. Instead of getting more and more involved in a worst-case scenario when it comes to dangers, you could also imagine a best-case scenario. Getting involved also helps against the feeling of powerlessness: with a view to the Ukraine crisis, for example, volunteering or making a donation.