;Resize=(1200,627)&impolicy=perceptual&quality=mediumHigh&hash=1e242f425825064c4dd97bb60747f71731c546519c72c930b970bc80a453986e "Left in the baby hatch – this is how Johannes (16) masters his life today")
Johannes (name changed) literally fell into life. His mother was a single parent with two children when she unexpectedly became pregnant. First she denied the pregnancy, then – when she had to face the truth – she decided to give birth anonymously. She had read that this was possible at the Waldfriede Hospital in Berlin. But long before her due date, she went into labor. “It’s still much too early,” thought the expectant mother in panic. She quickly sent her children to the neighbors. She wanted to go up the stairs to the bedroom but collapsed on the stairs. And there Johannes fell into life. He fell down a few steps, breaking his pelvis and a lower leg, as was later determined.
“We were very worried that he wouldn’t make it”
His mother was in a trance. She looked for a doll’s dress for the far too small premature baby, wrapped it in a blanket and hid it. It was only after she had slept a little and taken care of her two older children that she remembered that there was this baby. Your baby. The little boy was cold and silent, but he was alive. When the children slept, Johannes’ mother took him to Berlin. In the Waldfriede hospital, there was not only the possibility of anonymous birth, but also a baby hatch. She put the little bundle in there and went back home.
Johannes was only two minutes in the baby hatch. Then the alarm went off. Since the premature baby was in a bad condition, it was immediately taken to the children’s hospital. “We were very worried that he wouldn’t be able to make it,” said Nurse Bärbel, describing the situation. “His temperature was no longer measurable, he was so cold. He weighed just 2000 grams.”
Gabriele Stangl, who was a hospital chaplain in Waldfriede at the time, rushed to the clinic as soon as she was informed about the new addition. The baby hatch had been her idea. In the year 2000, against much resistance, she managed to get the world‘s first baby hatch – called “baby cradle” here – set up in a clinic in Waldfriede. This facility saved John’s life.
“For as long as I can remember, I’ve known I was put in the baby hatch”
Just one day after his birth, he was out of the woods and increasingly stabilized. Gabriele Stangl took him to her heart and visited him regularly. Shortly thereafter, she received a call from a police officer. A woman noticed that her neighbor was pregnant, now she is slim again, but has no baby. It quickly became clear that this was Johannes’ mother. She told police that she put her son in the baby hatch to keep him safe and that she wanted to put him up for adoption.
And so Johannes came to Katherina and Rolf (names changed), who had been waiting for an adoptive child for a long time. They were overjoyed when they could hold their son in their arms. You had a lot of love for him. Three years later they adopted another girl who had been born anonymously in the Waldfriede Hospital.
Johannes is now 16 years old and speaks openly about his story. “For as long as I can remember, I’ve known that I was adopted and that I was put into the baby hatch,” he says in an interview. “I never had bad feelings about it. And I didn’t miss my birth mother either. I grew up with my adoptive parents right from the start and never felt like I was missing something.” The thought that his mother couldn’t or didn’t want to keep him doesn’t bother him: “I now know the story behind it. And because of that, I know growing up in that family was the best thing for me.”
Unlike most children from the baby hatch, Johannes would even have the opportunity to get in touch with his birth mother. But he doesn’t want that. “I haven’t done it before and I wouldn’t consider doing it any time soon,” he explains. “I can’t remember her and I can’t find any reason to get in touch with her right now. In my family here I live a normal everyday life as if my adoptive mother were my biological mother.”
About 250 anonymous births in Waldfriede since 2000 – 10 percent were placed in the baby hatch
Closer friends know his story, but it’s not a big issue. John seems completely reconciled to it. His goal is to graduate from high school and then go to university. He can imagine an engineering course. He thinks the baby hatch is a “great thing”: “In my case, it could have been much worse if my mother hadn’t had a place where she knew: I’m giving my baby in good hands here.”
However, not everyone sees the offer of a baby hatch or anonymous birth as positively as Johannes. Again and again there is criticism that these offers would encourage women to give up their children. But the women who take advantage of these opportunities usually have a long and desperate process behind them. “Women don’t make it easy for themselves,” explains Gabriele Stangl. For many years she has accompanied expectant mothers who came to the clinic for an anonymous birth. And is very happy that 30 percent of the women who wanted to give birth anonymously and put their child up for adoption ultimately decided to keep their child.
For this to happen, a lot of consulting work is necessary. The discussions with the women often went on for weeks until they finally saw a perspective for themselves. “Sometimes we were able to place them in a mother and child home. Some ended up talking to their own parents and getting support from them.”
Since 2000 there have been around 250 women in the Waldfriede Hospital who wished to have an anonymous birth. Ten percent of the delivered babies were placed in the baby hatch. In Germany, however, these offers are a legal gray area. For this reason, the so-called confidential birth was introduced in 2014 as a legally secure variant. The mother leaves her name at a counseling center. From the age of 16, the child then has the opportunity to find out the name of the mother and, if necessary, to contact her. This is intended to strengthen the child’s right to receive information about his/her origin.
“Truth and love make a man strong”
But as the case of John shows, not all youth care about doing this. In addition: “If Johannes hadn’t been handed over to us, he wouldn’t have had a chance,” Gabriele Stangl makes clear. “It was five to twelve for him when he was placed in the baby hatch.” That’s why she still thinks it’s important that the baby hatch and anonymous birth remain available. “And if only one child had been saved through the baby hatch, all the effort would have been worth it,” she emphasizes. “Because every life is priceless.” It is important for the children affected that they have clarity about their story right from the start. At the latest by the age of three or four, when questions arise such as “Did I grow in your belly too?”, adoptive parents should explain to the children that they have two mothers.
Dealing with the topic as a matter of course helps the children to accept it as “normal” for themselves – as was the case with Johannes. “Truth and love make a person strong,” explains Gabriele Stangl. And she adds with a smile: “I always told the nurses: be nice to ‘my’ children! You don’t know if you might be holding the future mayor of Berlin in your arms.”
Bettina Wendland is Editor-in-Chief of Family and FamilyNEXT.
By Bettina Wendland