Deborha D’Agnelli is a 38-year-old young woman. former obeseis today one wellness e food blogger who through his messages offers support to the many people who have lived or continue to live his own personal drama. After a very controversial relationship with food, she decided to make a change in her existence by radically changing the vision of her body, regaining possession of herself and beginning to love good food, no longer understood as an ‘enemy’ but rather become a faithful ally. of his days. She therefore began to create quick and easy recipes that airs in a city web radio and wrote on a blog that he called “Debba’s diary“. Debora managed to reshape herself with a difficult but successful operation of auto training, through which she is literally reborn to a new life, happy now with her world made of love for food in all its facets but also of training intended as motivational support and psychophysical well-being. She is passionate about 90s dance, cult TV series, she collects iconic t-shirts. “I am a person like many others and I work as a seasonal worker in a Venetian tourist resort”. Tell about yourself, Debhora. “I am the happy mother of Cristian and Sofia, born from my marriage with Pasquale, to whom I try to instill love, trust and freedom of thought”.
Deborha, with the acca between “r” and “a” … not the usual aspirated Deborah. A sign of an independent and original character?
“Yes, let’s say that it is very particular as a name, in fact I have never had the opportunity to meet some of my namesake with the same order of letters. Mom had very clear ideas on what to call me, maybe she wanted so much to make me unique starting from the name itself. Temperamentally I am really particular and I show so many facets that sometimes I am surprised by myself! “.
Would you like to tell us about your experience linked to the condition of obesity?
“Being obese has led me to create a vacuum around me. Whenever some unpleasant event happened to me, I tended to take refuge in food. Only now, after winning my personal battle, am I sure I don’t want to hide without any fear of telling my past. I know that in those days I did not accept change, I was a slave to my own bad habits and for me binging had become normal. Then something clicked in me putting me in a position to understand that what I was doing was bad and how all this could have a negative impact on the people around me. I had to run for cover, also because I noticed more and more that I was not healthy and that I didn’t feel at all at ease with my body. Even on a social level I clearly felt that I could no longer find the necessary balance, I had lost vitality. I was not even able to chase my children during their games: a truly heartbreaking situation for me ”.
What does it mean for a teenager to experience that drama especially mentally?
“It was hard. The bullying that an overweight person can suffer is truly impressive. Yet I tried not to give too much importance, I was impassive, or even laughed about it. In defense, I know that I could also have been unpleasant and I am perfectly aware of having had great relationship difficulties. I often reserved for others the same bad approach I had towards myself, but I didn’t know who to ask for help. Inside me I felt only anger and frustration, yet I could not react constructively. Those were other times, and twenty years ago there was still no adequate information aimed at prevention regarding youth problems linked to depression and eating disorders. Certainly it was very hard for me, but I don’t dare to think how terrible it can be for so many teenagers today who, with problems like mine, almost inevitably have to deal with the cruel world of social media. I note that in this regard many profiles contain completely toxic messages, the result of dogmas that are too categorical and aimed at showing only an ideal of perfection ”.
What were your communication difficulties in meeting people?
“I was very selective, the ‘armor’ that I had created meant that I began to judge people even before I knew them: a simple glance was enough for me to draw conclusions. I was actually afraid to confront myself and that made me not really into the nicest person in the world, which made me feel a little guilty. Yet if they managed to take me in the right direction, to understand the real Deborha, then I would melt and reveal my true nature, even giving my heart. I must say that once I overcome countless difficulties I was able to remedy some of my mistakes. I apologized to many, sure that apologizing is a noble gesture “.
The Deborha of that time who looked at herself in the mirror, how did she see herself?
“What if I told you I didn’t have mirrors in the house? It was already a lot if I looked at myself in the bathroom. I didn’t like watching myself. I didn’t love my image. I compared myself to other people and became very sad. Now everything is different: I feel good, fulfilled and I don’t think about it anymore because I know how far I’ve come and this makes me strong and happy. Now in the photos I smile. It’s wonderful to feel at peace with yourself ”.
Tell us about your eating disorders …
“I suffered from compulsive binges, known as’Binge eating‘. It is a disorder that leads to consuming a huge amount of food: you start with little and then get assaulted by feelings of guilt. Lost in who knows what you keep looking for foods that can ‘comfort you’ until you feel saturated, soon overwhelmed by a sense of physical and mental discomfort. Then you are terrified of food, which paradoxically becomes a kind of friend-enemy. I often talk about all this on my social channel to the many people who feel alone and at war with themselves trying to help them as I can. Eating disorders do not come out only with training and diet: it is wrong to believe it. The real cure is to rediscover the love for oneself together with a food re-education and valid psychological help, necessary to defeat one’s monsters. So I always recommend not to be afraid to ask for help ”.
What weight did it have to have known love at sixteen? Were you afraid that everything could end in intimacy? Were you afraid of not being fully accepted?
“I was a bit skeptical at first, but luckily the armor I had created for myself had been broken in the right way. I had finally found a person who understood me perfectly. A life partner who even after losing weight, after changing my life path, was able to stay close to me. We support each other and we’ve been through a lot together, yet he always knows how to make me smile. It’s nice to know that you have someone next to you who makes you feel good by supporting you every day. People like this must be held tight, because they are a precious gift “.
Have you ever been blatantly discriminated against because of your physique?
“I’d be lying if I said no. Many times I have been criticized for being fat and I felt terrible there. Sometimes I would come home from work crying. I soon realized that discrimination can be exercised against any type of body and sometimes the sentence can be felt even within the walls of the house. There are many boys raised with an intrusive conception of diet culture demand from parents or those closest to them. In reality, people always have to say: constructive criticism is fine, but gratuitous nastiness is not tolerable. Unfortunately there will always be those in the world who discriminate, so we must fight such a social scourge by making sure not to repeat that mistake. To avoid prejudice, you have to start immediately and with the little things: a kind of mantra that also applies to my children, to whom all my love goes “.
How does a caterpillar turn into a butterfly?
“Coming out of the cocoon. Seriously, it takes time, it takes perseverance and it takes a lot of strength because not everything will always go according to plan, and you can fall many times. You have to be ready to get up. Sometimes you have to start all over again. Each path of rebirth involves the obligation to deal with the mistakes of the past, to hit your head. Unfortunately, many people cannot count on the support of those close to them. Too many times I am stunned listening to the stories of those who suffer because they may not have a shoulder to hold on to. So to get out of the tunnel it is essential to rely on competent professionals, often authentic rescue anchors “.
Was it a heavy process that led you to redesign your body?
“Yes it was heavy and they are still being worked on. I repeat that you must have incredible strength: but if the spark ignites it soon becomes a flame and then nobody stops you anymore. At first, after just twenty meters of running, I was out of breath. Then the gym was fundamental because it continues to help me not only physically but also mentally. It must be said that at the beginning I was afraid to show myself as I was, yet in that environment I met so many stories, all different from each other. There is always something to learn and I still consider myself a neophyte: this makes me curious and enterprising. I can say that after each workout I feel energized and when I train it is as if I were reborn. I feel great and I also have a couple of new passions like that Jump Rope (jump rope) and the Muay instead. Let’s see how he will go ”.
Did he have to undergo special training also from a psychological point of view?
“I did not go to therapy, but I had the luck and the pleasure of meeting many experienced and competent people who were able to direct me in the right way. It’s nice to compare and exchange your opinions, which is very common in the world of bloggers. I met many beautiful people on social media (this is the edifying part of the internet) and then met them in real life, accepting their advice. There are times when we are not always beautiful, ready and snappy, we are simply human beings. Then a remedy is needed: accepting and at the same time letting everything slip is a method that I am trying to put into practice. A nature inclined to “take everything in the gut” has difficulty in questioning itself, but thanks to the empathy of so many people I can finally say that I am satisfied with how things went “.
Have you ever feared not to make it, or on the contrary, have you trusted in good results?
“And how! Falling and getting up is part of the game. It is up to you to decide what you want to do. At first I was not very convinced and I had tried everything, but after some time it is as if a new cycle of habits has taken root within me. I do not hide that the moments when you would like to screw everything up are lurking. And then I try to stop: I take a deep breath to leave more convinced than ever. I had a period of despair this summer due to some small health problems. Nothing so worrying, but they were clear signs for my body to calm down: I know how far I have come and for nothing in the world I would like to lose what I have so hard to achieve ”.
Many people experience similar problems to yours. What is the message you intend to send?
“With my blog I want to make it clear first of all that food must not be our enemy, while on Instagram I mostly talk about well-being, tell anecdotes and try to raise awareness on various problems. Eating disorders are a full-fledged pathology and it is a topic that I care a lot about. Sometimes I publish light and simple content, other times I focus on more important topics. The social world is also full of beautiful and genuine profiles and many people commit themselves every day by giving a word, a thought or a professional advice to those who need it. Thanks to my personal experience I hope to leave a positive message to everyone ”.