“I was a happy drunk, now I’m not. I’m a sad drunk. I don’t go out drinking, I drink at home”. He’s a Paul Gascoigne almost unrecognizable is the one who appears in front of the cameras and begins to tell. She does it with courage, with a strength that few, perhaps, would know how to have. She does it with simplicity, with fear and at the same time with the desire to fight.
He appears different from that magical, transgressive and eccentric footballer, unruly on and off the pitch, who drove fans across half of Europe crazy. And this is his story.
Gascoigne, today. Photo Source: la Repubblica
Tra Beatles e slot machine
Mother Carol, a factory worker, and father John, a labourer, have no doubts about what name to give him when the baby is about to arrive. He will be called Paul, or rather, Paul John, in honor of Lennon and McCartney, the stars of Beatles. And in his own way that Paul too will become an artist. A ball artist, the one he began using as a child and which, when he was 15, became his work. A ball to earn money, to try to save his family, who during his childhood lived on the upper floor of a popular development, the bathroom shared with the others. These are difficult years, years in which everything can be an escape, a cop-out, a bet. So Gascoigne also starts playing slot machine, to try to scrape together something. He will develop an addiction that will never truly go away.
Gascoigne consoled by his national teammate McMahon after England’s elimination in the 1990 World Cup semi-final. Photo Source: Wikipedia
Newcastle, Rangers, Tottenham e Lazio
Then there is the beautiful side of this story. That of the footballer, the brilliant midfielder: 25 goals in 104 appearances for the Newcastle33 in 112 meetings with the Tottenham6 in 47 games in the three years at Lazio and then another 39 in just over 100 appearances with i Rangers. And then Middlesbrough, Evertonuntil the end of his career.
In an endless descent, between mental disorders, alcohol, depressive mania, attempted suicides. “People know Paul Gascoigne, but nobody knows Gazza. Me too sometimes. I try not to get depressed because the world is already depressed enough” he said recently. “If I want it to be a bad day, all I have to do is go to the pub. If I want it to be a nice day, I take out the rod and go fishing… It’s really easy, I just try to stay away from dangerous places. If I drink, I do it because I feel like it, it’s not for anything in particular. I never gave up. I think the moment I will give up is when I find myself in a wooden box. Other than that, I will continue to fight”.
A life lesson for everyone, from someone who made mistakes in life. But that he never stopped fighting. And to look his mistakes in the face.