As of: April 4, 2024 12:15 p.m
Today vor 30 years ago, Kurt Cobain took his own life. The rock musician died on April 5, 1994 at the age of just 27. After his untimely death, the Nirvana singer and guitarist became what he never wanted to be: an idol.
For a few years there was a poster hanging in my teenage room. A black and white photograph in landscape format. Then there is a musician in a black leather jacket, his long, stringy blonde hair tucked behind his ear. The left arm loosely grasps an acoustic guitar, which is casually placed on the table – ready to be played as soon as the cigarette in the other hand has been smoked. This picture literally reeked of the spirit of youth. At least according to me. It featured Kurt Cobain, the singer of the band Nirvana, who captured the youth zeitgeist in the early 1990s with their song “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”
Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain dies 30 years ago
The band’s success only lasted a few years, until Kurt Cobain’s unexpected death 30 years ago today. The news of his death hit me. I had just sorted out my beloved Rolf Zuckowski cassettes in order to turn to a new attitude to life and try out being a fan, when disaster struck. Under the poster I placed a black candle that was lit on April 5th. A small altar for my grief. It was a corner in my room where all the overflowing emotions of a teenager had a place. The anger and the happiness, the search for role models and one’s own identity. Clear, concrete and true to life.
Memories and markers of life
30 years later, my world is different, and so are the places of mourning. The altars that I align myself with today are in churches; they are the sky, the horizon or the view inward. But I still find it helpful to have places and images for what moves me. As a pastor, I discover small house altars in many apartments: photos of deceased parents or grandparents framed on the shelf, Polaroids on the refrigerator from the last wedding celebration or vacation photos of sunsets. Images that show what people relate to and what gives hope. Memories and markers of what life is all about. Clear, concrete and true to life.
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NDR 90.3 | April 5, 2024 | 10:40 am