The news of a Polish priest caught organizing an orgy with other men in his home, using narcotic substances, has brought back into vogue some expressions in newspaper headlines, such as “gay party” and “gay orgy”, which seemed to have been archived for some time. Also the website of The printfrom an agency launch, used them and made them their own.
Second Rosario Cocopresident of Gaynet, the association founded in 1998 by Franco Grillini with the aim of raising awareness among the mass media of the importance of informing without discrimination, these titles are not only offensive to the LGBTQ+ community but also harmful.
Why are the expressions “gay orgy” or “gay party” not okay?
“Should an orgy be news?”
There are orgies that attract more attention than others, especially when hypocrisy in certain conservative circles is exposed.
«Yes, but expressions such as “gay orgy”, which are simple to understand and in common use, as are also “gay crime”, “gay party”, “gay kiss”, raise different degrees of perplexity, for at least three reasons ».
Let’s go in order, what’s first?
«First of all, the meaning of the words must be considered. Terms like “crime” are intrinsically negative, they denote something morally reprehensible.”
On the other hand, a word like “orgy” denotes a theoretically neutral act.
«However, this word is unfortunately still associated with a social imaginary that recalls the idea of inappropriate, dirty, promiscuous, controversial».
So the problem is associating sexual orientation with something socially objectionable?
«I am reminded of the phone calls with a dear aunt of mine, with whom I worked hard for years with the hope of making her understand what homosexuality was, that is, a sexual orientation like any other. When similar news was spread years ago, she told me: “You see, gays organize orgies and tempt priests.”
Let’s get to the second reason why it would be better to avoid “gay orgies”.
«Here we enter into the question of connotation. Sexual orientation is always about people, not facts. A kiss between two men isn’t special, it’s just a kiss. A male orgy or kiss can involve gay, bisexual, and heterosexual men who occasionally engage in homosexual behavior. These expressions often convey a distorted and partial image of reality.”
However, the adjective “gay” can also recover its positive etymological origin and represent a subculture, a movement and a collective imagination of homosexual people.
«But this distinction could have been valid until the early 2000s, when we moved from the concept of Gay Pride to the concept of Pride. Today we are talking about Pride, the rainbow, queer, LGBTQIA+ movement. The word “gay” continues to be used to refer to the meeting places of a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, but in this context it regains a positive meaning.”
And the third reason for no longer using “gay orgy” or “gay party”?
«The most important element is the context. If we define community spaces as “gay”, recovering the historical meaning of the term, it is one thing. If we are referring to a “party” that led to unpleasant events, as in this case (a friend of the priest actually lost consciousness after taking several pills of a drug similar to Viagra, ndr), calling it a “gay party” gives it a negative connotation and, indirectly, introduces a narrative frame that can also lead to negative judgments on sexual orientation.”
So this reflection focuses more on the imagery that language can evoke rather than on language itself?
«We are not talking about mistakes like confusing “outing” with “coming out” nor are we exercising rigid political correctness to replace one word with another. Reflection on the use of language, as recommended in 10 points for the information on the Gaynet siteis a continuously evolving process, where aspects of meaning and connotation should always be evaluated based on the specific context and the narratives they implicitly convey and endorse.”
In conclusion, what alternatives do you propose?
«Orgy between men. Or party between men. Without references to sexual orientation.”
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