In Germany, withdrawals are a right
Germany is perhaps the only country in the world where parents in difficulty, i.e. those with some health problems, but above all overwhelmed by family duties, are legally entitled to a «Kur», a retreat of about three weeks, every four years, to get back in shape (as indicated in the health reform of 2000, updated in 2015). Kur is prescribed by a doctor and is mostly financed by insurance companies. In addition to the therapies, meals, accommodation and childcare are included in the treatment package. But be careful: the fundamental element is that the retreat is not done only to cure a health problem, but also as a preventive measure to prevent relatively minor problems (of a psychological nature) from turning into worse problems. And, in fact, by law it is like being on sick leave and companies cannot deny employees retirement. The salary is paid in full for the first 6 weeks by the employer, for the remaining period, however, the Krankenkassee takes care of up to 90% of the salary.
How to apply
Generally, the first step, for a parent who feels burnout, is to seek advice from a doctor or to one of the many dedicated associations (one of all, the Müttergenesungswerk, founded in 1950 by Elly Heuss-Knapp, wife of the first president of federal Germany, Theodor Heuss, to help mothers and wives deal with post-traumatic stress related to war). Only at this point are you directed to the most suitable type of treatment and clinic (but the locations also include monasteries, castles, wellness centres, spas). After filling out a questionnaire which is sent to the Krankenkasse, transalpine correspondent of our National Health Service, to which every German has turned at least once in their life to take out compulsory health insurance (but there are also private ones), one expects clearance to book your stay. After the application has been accepted, you have 4 months to use the service, under penalty of forfeiture; if the application is rejected, however, you have 4 weeks to appeal. Once you enter the clinic, you have the right to bring children under the age of 12 with you. The cost of the stay and of the therapies is borne by the insurance, while the patient participates in the expense with only 10 euros per day.
How the «Kur» works
When parents show up at the clinic, they are assessed and receive a tailor-made plan of activities and therapies: physical exercises, muscle relaxation therapy courses, meditation, Nordic walking, yoga. You stop drinking alcohol and follow a careful diet. The children are looked after and supported for any health problems, while meals and cleaning are taken care of by the staff. Then, in the afternoon, parents and children spend time together. “But I will enter the clinic next November alone,” explains Franziska. “It will be my break from all responsibility. Finally, for a few weeks, it won’t be me who will have to take care of someone, but the others will take care of me». It may sound like a vacation, but research shows that retreats are surprisingly effective at preventing mental health problems. «It is an inner work», concludes Franziska, «to discover and understand new ways to better organize daily life and prevent further burnouts».
More than half of the German population has experienced burnout
According to a report by the pharmaceutical company Stada, half of the German population, even before the pandemic, had experienced burnout (exactly 49% of Germans; but in Poland it is 62% of the population, in Serbia 66% and in Russia even 72%). That is, she had felt on the edge of the abyss or had felt the first symptoms. The wave of Covid, and the necessary restrictions that followed, has only increased this percentage. Just as parents who resort to Kur have increased, crushed by the tension of everyday life. As reported by the BBC website, which interviewed Yvonne Bovermann, director of the Müttergenesungswerk (about 70 clinics offering retreats throughout Germany), the clinics are registering an increase of about 10% of parents after the pandemic. Mostly single mothers are hospitalized. “The vast majority of our retreats have a preventive purpose,” explains Bovermann. “But the clinics say that a large proportion of women, about 30%, already arrive in a state of exhaustion. And they must be offered a treatment of cure and not one of prevention ».
What is parental burnout
The most common problems among German parents are psychological ones, such as anxiety, insomnia or depressive symptoms, which now affect over 90% of those who go to retreats, while according to Bovermann’s calculations, before the pandemic it was 80%. But what exactly is the parental burnout? Science defines it as a state of “excessive exhaustion related to one’s parenting role, an emotional estrangement from one’s children and a sense of parental ineffectiveness”. In addition to being distressing for parents, burnout increases the risk of neglect and violence towards children. But parental despair can affect children in other ways as well. Depression in mums and dads increases the likelihood that their children will develop depression of their own and has also been linked to behavioral problems. Typically, burnout parents are at increased health risk, with a third of single mothers reporting symptoms of depression or anxiety. While a three-week retreat may not magically solve these problems, it is scientifically proven that it can have a major impact on parents and bring lasting benefits.