The female body is said to have a G-spot. Men say. If you can’t find it, it’s your own fault. Or? We look at four other legends that are told about the female orgasm.
First of all: There is supposed to be this point in our body that triggers an ecstatic fireworks display of the senses. An eruption of female desire. And it’s… named after a man. The gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg, who claims to have discovered it, called the “G-spot” Aha.
That’s where it starts. There has to be something wrong. On the occasion of the official World Orgasm Day, the casual dating portal TheCasualLounge surveyed its users and – supported by sex therapist Dania Schiftan – examined five myths surrounding the female orgasm. Curious? Let’s go!
Myth 1: No good sex without orgasm
In fact, it looks like this: Only about a third of women can brag about coming every time they have sex. If you’re now breathing a sigh of relief: Correct, that’s relatively normal. So it doesn’t matter. Almost 63 percent of those surveyed also confirm that they really enjoy sex without it. “Of course, good sex doesn’t just depend on orgasm. On the other hand, I’m with the idea Women usually don’t come anyway and should just enjoy what they know disagreeing. Because every woman can have an orgasm. And you can learn and practice that,” says Schiftan.
Myth 2: Women need endless foreplay
The average takes about twenty minutes to arrive. The sex therapist explains: “Women take longer to warm up than men. They can technical come in quite a few ways, some through nipple stimulation, some even just through thought. But the quickest way is through the power of habit – i.e. the way you mostly satisfy yourself. If you don’t want to change or expand this technique, you have to explain to your partner what you have to do during sex. I recommend trying something new more often, whether alone or as a couple.”
Myth 3: This one position drives everyone crazy
Of course, everyone has their favorite position. Anyone who enjoys sex knows what it takes to get what they want. Almost a quarter of those surveyed swear by the riding position, another quarter by the good old missionary position. “It depends on which stimuli are most likely to achieve the goal. Women who are particularly aroused by the clitoris and vulva really get off best in the riding or missionary position, as this is the most likely way for their clitoris to rub against his pubic bone. “Many women also like it from behind or from the side because they can feel it on the G-surface and also have their hands free to touch themselves,” says Schiftan.
Myth 4: We women fake all the time
Hands up if you’ve never done this before! In the survey it was a whopping 89 percent. Well, that’s ok too. Sometimes you don’t feel like it anymore and/or you don’t want to offend anyone. But around 22 percent fake it regularly. Dania Schiftan also knows: “This is a reality. But it’s not necessarily all bad either. You can sometimes expect yourself and others not to come. […] On the other hand, a fake orgasm can definitely have a learning effect: you imagine the climax and push yourself into it and who knows, maybe it will actually work. Fake it until you make it.”
Myth 5: The endless search for the G (climax) point in seconds
Question: How many of you have found your G-spot? Or let it be found? The small button, which leads to the brilliant finale without much effort and expense, is of course of greatest interest, especially for ambitious sexual partners. And site maps, directions and manuals are now a dime a dozen. The female orgasm package leaflet. So it’s all very simple, right? Practical, quick and uncomplicated. Man, great.
It’s just stupid when that ominous “button” on the front vaginal wall simply refuses to be located. You fiddle, finger and grope… but somehow the fireworks don’t happen. It must be up to us, there is definitely something wrong with our body! At least two friends and the acquaintance of his sister’s work colleague discovered him long ago and have been mindblown ever since. No, this ecstasy… crap.
Well, well, maybe we can no longer look for the 1.5 centimeter “button” that Ernst Gräfenberg described in the 1950s. Let’s explore our insides for a 1×3 millimeter wide sack-like structure – that’s what doctor Adam Ostrzenski (yep, another man) advises, who autopsied a(!) woman’s corpse in 2012 and now really wants to have found the G-spot. What, there’s no sack in your vagina? What’s wrong with you?
We want to solve: Everything is fine with you
Let’s venture a wild theory: the infamous “G-spot” doesn’t exist. Yes, there are special vibrators for this hot spot of desire, workshops that want to lead you through the dark valley aka the trials of the vagina to the source of the explosive orgasmic light. Even condoms that have special features that guarantee precise accuracy – and of course those that have long since found it and stimulated it countless times.
But here’s the thing: what catapults you to climax can feel like unpleasant chatter to me. What makes me leave my body and float on pleasure cloud 9 can’t trigger more than an unimpressed yawn from you. Every vagina ticks and feels different, looks different and has its own bubbling geysers just waiting to erupt. Where are they? No package leaflet knows this.
You have to search for them with dedicated, detailed work, find them and then shower them with love and affection. The fireworks can be lurking in the front left, top right, way back, anywhere or mainly on the clitoris. Or just by chance on the upper, front vaginal wall.
The important thing is: you have fun and feel pleasure, know your own body and don’t spend your life searching for a myth (invented by men) that has not yet been scientifically proven.
A quick digression back to the survey: Here, too, over half of the women stated that the best way to achieve optimal results was through clitoral stimulation. Daniela Schiftan knows: “The clitoris is bigger than we generally think. It looks like a butterfly walking around the entrance to the vagina. When the vaginal wall is stimulated, the clitoris is automatically stimulated. There is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm without involving the clitoris. “
She explains the G-spot as follows: “It is not a point, but an area the size of a two to five franc coin. Many women experience a more extensive feeling of letting go when the orgasm is triggered by pressure on the G-surface.” But she admits: “But this may also be because a woman who has this experience has already made an effort to release her To literally discover the vagina from all sides and therefore know it well.”
So a lot of women. Not all. This can work. But it doesn’t have to. We swear, a weight will fall off your heart. Deal? Good.
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