A breakup is painful, whether we want to admit it or not.
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When partners “break up by mutual consent”, pain is inevitable. Then it doesn’t matter what the relationship was – turbulent, blurry, monotonous. The consequences of a breakup can be severe, overwhelming and difficult to overcome. Experts explain that this is completely normal, because a partnership offers a positive sense of stability in life, and a breakup throws us out of bed.
The disturbing elements of a breakup are rooted in the brain, a study she published proved “Nature Communications”. Researchers used magnetic resonance imaging to determine that romantic partner rejection engages brain regions involved in components of physical pain. However, psychologist Guy Winch explains that the way in which you will bear the pain of parting depends solely on you.
“Functional brain imaging studies have shown that rejection of romantic love, in the sense of ending a relationship, it triggers the same mechanisms in the brain as in addicts who reject cocaine and opiates. This, in other words, means that love causes addiction, and a broken heart causes an abstinence crisis,” Vinč says.
This is also the reason why we obsess over ex-partners to the point where we feel like we crave them as if they were a drug that we desperately miss. Also, this can be the reason why it is sometimes difficult for us to get to know someone else. We tend to idealize our exes, distorting our memories of them and convincing ourselves that our romantic vision of them is correct, when in fact it is not.
“You need to make sure that all your thoughts about your ex are realistic and balanced. If you think back to your best weekend together, remember when he used to drive you crazy and annoy you. If you find yourself longing for their sweet embrace, you should remember the night when everyone slept at their end of the bed” notes Winch, suggesting that you write down a list of all the reasons why the relationship didn’t work out.
The breakup can be sudden, but the psychologist emphasizes that it is the partner actually ended the emotional relationship a long time ago.
“At the moment of breakup, the relationship is formally over. However, the left party finds out only then and experiences the initial phase of grief and loss. People are often surprised that until recently everything was normal and their partner loved them last week, and this week they are breaking up. just acted like he was in a relationship, because he hadn’t decided to break up yet and didn’t feel ready for it,” Vinch claims.
(WORLD)