The canoe test can help you figure out where your relationship is headed — answer these simple questions and find out.
In a society like the current one, where human relationships are in general increasingly complex and sentimental ones tend more to have a ‘hit and run’ imprint than to be deep and lasting, it often happens that we have some doubt as to the authenticity of the link created with the partner or of the relationship that could potentially be established with a person.
Especially at the beginning, even if everything seems to be going the right way, it can happen to be attacked by uncertainties of various kinds. How much do we really want to get involved with that person? And how compatible are we really with her? Is the partner really as involved as it seems? With the canoe test we can get a clearer picture of the situation, so sit back and answer these few questions truthfully.
Canoe test: answer the questions and find out what kind of relationship you are in
This test is so named because it requires you to imagine the relationship as a canoe trip that you are doing together with the other person. Based on the answers you give and those that you think reflect your partner’s behavior, you will be able to better understand the dynamics between you two and what motivations push you to live this story.
The first thing to ask yourself is: what induces us to travel with this person?
- I like the idea;
- We both want to experience the new;
- We want to try our hand at a sport never practiced before.
Now that the journey has begun, it is not difficult to predict that sooner or later some will show up difficult unexpected. At that point, which of the two takes control of the situation and does he concretely take action so that the journey can continue? This question is fundamental because if only one of the two is working, perhaps initially the person who is committed to solving the problems will be happy to do it, but the moment will come when he will get tired of having to think about everything.
Since there is objectively a criticality, what is the attitude What does each traveler take?
- He points it out, but waits for the other to solve it;
- Accuse the other of causing the problem;
- Talk to the other about the problem and propose that they work together to fix everything;
- He sees the problem but prefers to let fate sort it out.
You have managed to continue the journey, but it is important to know why you have chosen to continue:
- You have denied the problem and each expect the other to do something about it;
- You have decided to give up the tour at the first difficulty;
- You both admitted the problem and rolled up your sleeves to fix it;
- You know that the problem persists, but you prefer to continue traveling rather than continuing alone out of fear.
The answers that you have given can offer you very valid food for thought on your way of relating to your partner and also on his towards you to better understand what turn your relationship is taking.