The Christmas holidays are a time of joy and sharing. Lunches and dinners, board games. An opportunity to meet friends and relatives. For a person with dementia, however, the frenzy of the holidays can also be a source of anxiety and agitation. “Holidays like Christmas are often a critical moment, because the routine that represents a small daily certainty for those who no longer have an orientation in space and time is missing”, he explains to Salute Francesca Arosio, psychologist and psychotherapist of the Alzheimer’s Federation Italy. “Obviously they can also be a very positive moment, because emotions have an enormous influence on memories, and therefore experiencing positive emotions during the holidays can help you remember them and experience them better, and can recall pleasant memories of the past. A few small precautions are enough to ensure let this happen.” Introducing some elements of routine during the celebrations, preventing our loved ones from feeling excluded or being pushed to isolate themselves from the confusion, is the best way to ensure that it is a celebration also for those living with dementia. To achieve this, here is the decalogue of the Alzheimer Federation.
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1. Decorate gradually
Of course, we are now close to Christmas, but the suggestion is to introduce decorations little by little, over several days, as a way to avoid making sudden and excessive changes to the usual environment, which can cause confusion and confusion in the person. with dementia.
2. Involve everyone
There are many ways to get people with dementia involved in the Christmas atmosphere: from simple tasks like hanging a bauble on the tree to buying presents together. The important thing is to make everyone feel included.
3. Create a quiet area
A large number of guests can cause confusion. “One piece of advice is to distribute the visits of friends and relatives, so that they come to say hello in small groups, to avoid confusion pushing the person with dementia to isolate themselves”, explains Arosio.
If the environment becomes too noisy, you can reserve a room or space in the house as a “quiet area” where you can relax without loud noises. “This is particularly useful if you have small children or if couples with children come to visit us – continues Arosio – balancing the needs of the little ones, with their enthusiasm for the holidays, and the elderly, is very difficult. And dividing the spaces so that the person with dementia can lie down in bed or in an armchair if they need it, it can be very useful.” For some people, listening to music with headphones can be a good way to limit the noise and calm down.
4. Maintain your usual routine as much as possible
A person with dementia may feel overwhelmed by the frenzy of the Christmas period: it is preferable not to overdo it. Maintaining a certain tranquility in the activities of the day and sticking to the daily routine as much as possible helps your loved one to relax; Eating meals at regular times and in a familiar environment also limits confusion. If you usually attend church but cannot do so, a good alternative is represented by live television or online broadcasts. “Music can also have a beneficial effect – advises Arosio – Christmas songs can recall happy memories, and can be a good way to restore a positive mood to our loved ones with dementia, if we see that they are becoming agitated or isolating”.
5. Avoid excessive portions
Even though we all tend to eat more at Christmas, a heaping plate can be daunting for those who have difficulty eating. When we serve at the table it is better to try not to exceed the portion of food proposed.
6. Meet the needs of the person with dementia
It’s easy to get carried away with Christmas traditions and the desire to experience the holidays the way you’ve always done as a family, but this time may start to look different as dementia progresses. “People living with dementia live in the past – underlines Arosio – and therefore it is not easy to predict when family traditions will have a positive effect, and when instead they may be too nostalgic, to the point of distancing them from the present and having a negative effect. You have to see what effect they have, and be ready to change your plans if some element doesn’t work.”
7. Plan ahead
If the person with dementia is in an early stage of the disease, relatives and friends may not notice any changes. Talking with family members beforehand, especially with younger children, can help avoid embarrassing moments for someone with dementia. “Sometimes it is the family members of people who are starting to develop dementia who find themselves embarrassed in talking about the matter outside of the family unit, or who have not yet fully understood what is happening – warns Arosio – when possible, however, it is better to inform the invited that the person starts to have memory problems. This helps them a lot, especially in the early stages when the person is aware that everything is going a little too fast for them. Slowing down the conversations, making sure to include them too, is a help both for those who begin to suffer from dementia, and for family members, guests and caregivers”.
8. Prevent “sunset syndrome”
If the confusion of the person with dementia tends to increase towards the evening, it is necessary to consider the possibility of replacing any family dinners with lunches even if a different tradition is usually followed. If this is not possible, the advice is to keep the room well lit and try to avoid any stimulus which, according to one’s experience, could trigger behaviors that are difficult to manage. Also avoid having the TV turned on during meals.
9. Choose meaningful gifts
It is a good idea to give the person with dementia something that can stimulate and evoke positive memories, such as an object linked to their past profession or their favorite free time activities. “Maybe you can dig in the wardrobe, in the drawers, and find some old heirlooms, or even just frame a photo or recover a sweater that has a special meaning for them – adds Arosio – these are gestures that can recall the past they remember reference, and make them so happy.”
10. Facilitate guest recognition
Situations in which the person with dementia may feel in difficulty, such as having to remember names, should be minimised. You can ask each arriving guest to introduce themselves and consider using place cards or name tags to wear, to help the person more easily recognize friends and family. The important thing in this case is to do it in an inclusive way, also using nameplates and placeholders, and also providing them to our loved ones with dementia, to prevent them from feeling different and excluded.
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