Today, compared to the past, many of the taboos related to love and relationships have been overcome. But the fear of rejection however, it can represent a difficult challenge to overcome appointmentsespecially in an era where i social network not dating app allow us to easily apply dei filters between us and others.
The paradox lies in the fact that, by only showing what we consider most attractive or desirable about ourselves, we can end up fearing that we will not be accepted for who we really are. This is why, as underlined by the new report by Hingethe dating app meant to be deleted, it’s important to overcome these fears by taking a more open and resilient approach.
Dating: Giving up on meeting someone for fear of rejection
Il report Gen Z D.A.T.E. (Data, Advice, Trends, and Expertise) by Hinge, which collected responses from 15,000 users globally, investigates many aspects regarding Generation Z and the search for love. According to the results, 90% of users in this age group say they want to find love. Compared to Millennials, they would be 30% more likely to believe that there is a soulmate for every person. While expectations for their romantic relationships seem optimistic, the report also highlights how fear of rejection has a major impact on dating, especially among younger people.
In fact, more than half of Gen Z Hinge users, 56%, say they have been held back by this very fear, missing out on the opportunity to pursue a potential relationship. Additionally, 44% have little or no dating experience. This could increase insecurity in social interactions, to which the period of isolation experienced during the Covid-19 pandemic may have contributed.
Get out of your comfort zone
Moe Ari BrownHinge’s Love and Connection Expert, suggests that theembarrassment, or discomfort, need not necessarily be avoided. If anything, it may indicate that we are stepping out of our comfort zone, an action often necessary for one’s personal growth. The advice is to recognize and accept this feeling, shifting focus from fear to potential rewards that can result from risking rejection. For example, having the opportunity to build a deep and meaningful connection with someone.
The solution would therefore be to embrace the “cringe mode“, understood as a bold mentality that pushes you to get involved, with an open attitude aimed at not fearing embarrassing situations.
As specified in the report Logan Ury, Director of Relationship Science at Hinge, no one likes to be rejected. However, almost all useful things in life require to open up to rejectionlike applying for the ideal college or job and telling someone we’re interested in them.
Dating: Develop a resilience to rejection so you aren’t afraid of it
But how can you develop “resilience to rejection”? Moe Ari Brown describes 4 steps to achieve this:
Clarify what you think about the rejection: Whatever your narrative is, it’s the one you’ll tell yourself when things are tough. To ensure that your inner thoughts are positive and compassionate towards yourself, you can replace any harmful thoughts with new ones. For example, replace “no one chooses me” with “what is meant for me will never be denied me.”
Be compassionate towards yourself and don’t blame yourself (or each other): When we experience rejection, it seems easier to blame ourselves than to accept that we have no real control over what other people do. Remember that no one is responsible for the misalignment of desires and that you deserve reciprocity in all your relationships.
Don’t approach relationships with expectations. Instead, have standards: Focusing on expectations can lead to losing sight of the reality of the situation. This happens both when it comes to ignoring signs of interest for fear of being rejected, and not seeing signs of incompatibility. While having standards allows you to remain aware of your needs and get to know the other person in an authentic way.
Moving from “choose me” to being “mutually demanding”: We often see the dynamic one-sided, meaning either you are the one rejecting or you are rejected. Instead, it can be considered a mutual process of compatibility assessment. When we get to know someone and decide not to pursue them, we make a decision that reflects our understanding of what is best for us.
This approach encourages us not to experience rejection as a failure, but as a conscious choice which should be built on a foundation of shared protection and respect.