The experience of mental illness marks a before and after, it is a watershed in a person’s life. This concept strongly reaffirms it To Danielle Sassoonactress, artist and writer who recently published her debut book, There are no more dogs in Beirut (VandA Editions). The author has gone through a dark period, in which her psychic conditions have forced her to stop, but she now defines herself as “miraculous”. Even if she is fine now, she can no longer ignore the disease when she talks about herself, because she has become a constituent part of her essence.
How does your contact with mental illness take place?
I am a person with bipolar syndrome, which has disablingly occupied a decade of my life. However, the experience of mental disorder also characterized my family context. My sister is seriously ill, she has not been lucky enough to enjoy remission of the disease.
But she’s better off…
Now yes, but I spent some years in which death took over, I was in a very serious situation. Today, looking back, I can say that the disease was somehow the incubator of a great life project. But my gaze is particular and privileged.
In what sense?
Particularly because I tend to never talk about it as bad luck; the disease was a great teaching, an experience before which I bow with all my humility. At the same time, however, I realize that I can think like this because I’m privileged. A miracle happened to me: one day, not by merit but by luck, I woke up and set foot back in my life.
And what did this teach you?
I decided to show my gratitude by dedicating myself to volunteering with Progetto Itaca, a foundation that promotes information, support and listening to people with mental disorders and their families. I was busy answering the telephone line of this reality, which people with mental health problems can call when they are seeking advice, as well as their relatives. The goal of the toll-free number is to direct users into the vast and confusing world of mental illness, supporting them and listening to their needs.
What were the people who called the helpline talking to you about?
They carried many things, a lot of solitude, above all. They were looking for humanity. Most of them didn’t call to be healed: they were people who had already taken on their toil-laden destiny from the start. During the training course they explained to us that we had to refer them to the competent structures if they asked us for information on treatments, without taking a position or making suggestions on drugs. In all the time I’ve been volunteering, however, maybe two people have asked me for addresses, the others called to hear a voice, to have a point of reference. Some talk to you about their day, they tell you that they made orecchiette, others explain their vision of life, still others insult you. I remember a 65-year-old man who used to say unrepeatable words to me, who I later discovered had a desire: an electric train.
Going back to your experience, are there any better approaches than others in psychiatry?
I have no real tools to be able to answer. It is a world where you have to have a lot of luck. I was treated by what were considered the best psychiatrists in Milan and they seemed to me to be scoundrels, then I was taken over by a doctor, Michele Cisima, who diligently and patiently pulled me out of the situation in which I i found. I don’t think medicines should be demonized, because without them nothing can be done: if the psychiatrist hadn’t given me lithium correctly, perhaps I wouldn’t be here to talk about it. However, a drug cannot be administered and that’s it, it must be accompanied by analytic work and psychological support. It’s not a headache, so take a pill and you’re good to go. There is a need for a human approach but also for medicines; my doctor loves me very much, but first we need to build a chemical base – he gave me antipsychotics, antidepressants and lithium – on which to graft a path of love. The affective context is important, because it is the first to shatter when there is psychic discomfort.
In what sense?
Friends are lost, who also begin to be afraid of you. Today I am accessible, I am surrounded by affection, but five years ago people avoided me on the street. Let’s say that, with psychic discomfort, a great selection takes place in the people who are next to you.
In her book she says that when she was hospitalized, the first reaction was a desire to escape…
Often those with mental illness find it difficult to recognize it, the first enemy of the mentally ill is the patient himself; ten years ago I decided to go to hospital because I felt my life was in danger, but then – beyond the story I tell, which also has some ironic components – I wanted to escape. There is still a great stigma, mental illness is surrounded by an aura of secrecy so it is better not to know anything about it. Psychic suffering concerns such a gloomy and desolate imaginary, little expected in a society where everything must work perfectly, that one finds it hard to admit it.
Is there a negative view, therefore, on the part of the company?
People lose their jobs when they say they have a mental illness, they can’t talk about it easily. It’s not like having diabetes or some other bodily pathology: when the discomfort concerns the mind, the inner worlds that open up are disturbing, scary. It’s a brand that stays with you: not long ago I wanted to get health insurance, but they didn’t accept it. I talk a lot about mental illness, but maybe this is also a reaction to the stigma, it’s probably to exorcise it, just like some people write a fake resume to hide the years they couldn’t work.