“Lose 3 kilos in three days“. “How to lose 10 kilos in a month“. “How to lose weight without being hungry, or quickly, even without playing sports and, why not, eating“. Guys, Google really can’t stand your absurd requests anymore. Now, in view of the warm season, it is absolutely normal to wear those Three five kilos too much but, come on, by now we have understood that no result is achieved without sacrifice. Also because, if you persist in searching the internet by typing phrases like this, you risk running into this nice list of they say which, needless to say, it is best never to do. May.
Paleodiet
Criticized and mocked, the paleo diet it is a food style that takes the subject back to Paleolithic times, i.e. in the period in which agriculture had not yet been discovered and the human being lived on hunting and wild vegetables. In your dish you can put everything that moves and grows in nature between earth, sky and sea. For breakfast, for example, you can eat a piece of halibut smeared with honey and 4-5 seeds of the plant closest to you; a fruit with all the peel for a snack.
For lunch: wild boar meat preferably hunted with a bow and arrow in order to promote consistent calorie loss. Eat meat not overcooked, better raw. As a snack, 2 sardines or, if you live far from the sea, 4 fig leaves. For dinner, you can treat yourself to a dessert made from tree roots and resins. At the end of this historical and slimming period you will have the physique of Wilma Flinstone but the character of Vittorio Sgarbi in any TV broadcast. You are the authors of your own destiny.
Drink diet & co
Talking about slimming diets based on meal replacements is a nice dive into the 90s when the radio was playing Rhythm of the Night of Corona and Mamma Rai aired the series The boys of the wall. It was undoubtedly the decade of Slim-Fast and, for the more aggressive, also of the Wanna Marchi diets.
This style of diet, particularly loved by athletes and housewives, provides for the replacement of one of the three main meals with a smoothie made up of water (juice or milk) and a powder which would supply all the nutritional elements the body needs: proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins and salts. Practically the meal turns into a strawberry, vanilla or chocolate flavored liquid experience lasting a few minutes, the saddest thing in the world.
Weight loss will be fast with the guarantee of a detoxified body from harmful substances. Be prepared to lose friends along with weight: no one wants to associate with people who give up baked chicken in exchange for 300 ml of thick slurry.
Fasting diet
The only historical case in which the fast has brought benefit is certified about 2000 years ago, only that the subject in question has not lost weight but resurrected. Risky phrase but sometimes you have to dare to make people understand how absurd some concepts are. Prolonged fasting does a lot of harm to the body and this is perhaps the dumbest diet ever promoted. And then if we had to stop eating, how would we plan to spend the day?
Minestrone diet
Needless to say, it’s a diet evergreen. The minestrone diet has made many women dream with the certainty of being able to lose at least 5 kg in a week. The diet of apples, yogurt and potatoes was based on the same school of thought. Weight loss passes through a single food and the strategy is simple. At some point you will be so fed up that you won’t eat it anymore and start a slimming process.
However, the first few days will be fun thanks to the variations on the menu: on Monday, minestrone with legumes. Tuesday, minestrone without legumes but with tomato. Wednesday, minestrone with potatoes and without onion. Thursday, with onion but no potatoes (here’s an ironic wow). In case of a minestrone diet, know how to regulate your needs so as not to find yourself attached to a parenteral nutrition drip. The sincere advice is to find another way to lose weight. Pilates, maybe.
3 hour diet
Already naming it comes the stress of delay. Here you don’t look at what and how much you eat but when. For example you have to eat one hour after waking up and you can go to bed only 3 hours after having dinner. Needless to say, you have to eat a meal every 3 hours. I wonder how often it takes to go to the bathroom.
Now, judging the life we lead, modern people, I see this food model as difficult to apply. Having a social life means submitting to complex organizational schemes made up of parties in the office, coffee and sweets at the bar, aperitif, aperipizza, aperitif and so on. Furthermore, finding the right position for the selfie and above all an outlet to recharge your iPhone are activities that you never know how long they may take.
I’m so sorry, but this diet doesn’t meet real contemporary needs. What’s the point of losing weight if I don’t have the time to write it on Facebook?
You may be wondering why there was no mention of the fearsome in this list All of themof the mysterious Tisanoreicaof the diet compulsive chewing or of that of blood group. The reason is that none of us know our blood type and that, since it’s lunch time, we don’t want to know any more about diets. Clear, right?