Progress in washing the fox
In January 2017 I had a paragraph from JA Baker’s “The Peregrine” automatically translated for the first time. Here is an overview of the development:
The original passage:
“I have always longed to be a part of the outward life, to be out there at the edge of things, to let the human taint wash away in emptiness and silence as the fox sloughs his smell into the cold unworldliness of water; to return to the town as a stranger. Wandering flushes a glory that fades with arrival.”
The official translation by Andreas Jandl and Frank Sievers:
“I have always longed to be part of this life, this outside, to stand out there on the edge of things, washing the human varnish off me with emptiness and stillness as the fox does in the cold worldlessness of the water of its scent discarded to return to the city as an unknown. Hiking has a shine that fades upon arrival.”
Beautiful but not perfect: a taint is a flaw, i.e. rather the opposite of a varnish, it is unclear whether the stranger returning to the city is the fox or the narrator, it is not about unknown at all (i.e. the perspective of other people who do not recognize you) , but about foreignness (i.e. one’s own perspective: the narrator feels foreign). The flushes in the last sentence remains untranslated.
Google Translate until the end of 2016:
“I have always proved a part of outer life, longing to be there, on the edge of things, to let the human taint wash away in emptiness and stillness as the fox shed its scent into the cold unworldliness waters…” (Here absent unfortunately the end, I didn’t get to see more of the past at this point.)
Google Translate January 2017:
“I have always longed to be a part of outer life, to be out on the fringes of things, to let out human shame in emptiness and stillness while the fox foams its scent into the cold unworldliness of water; Returning to the city as a stranger. Wandering flushes a glory that fades with arrival.”
Much better than a few weeks ago and an enjoyable read in its own way, but still pretty wrong.
DeepL 2017:
“I have always longed to be a part of outer life, to be out there on the edge of things, to let the human stain wash away into emptiness and stillness as the fox presses its scent into the cold worldliness of the water; to return to the city as a stranger. Wandering pours out a glory that fades with arrival.”
Google Translate October 2018:
“I have always longed to be a part of the outer life, to be out on the edge of things, to let the human stain vanish in emptiness and stillness, while the fox exudes its scent into the cold worldlessness of the water; return to the city as a stranger. Wandering flushes a glory that fades with arrival.”
Later I have the text several more times for my bot (at Twitter / near Mastodon) Translate “The Wandering Rock”. That’s why my archive still contains a few intermediate statuses of the automatic translation:
DeepL October 2018:
“I have always longed to be a part of outer life, to be out there on the edge of things, to let the human wiles wash away in emptiness and stillness while the fox sneaks its scent into the cold world of water; to return to the city as a stranger. Wandering blushes a glory that fades with arrival.”
Google Translate June 2019:
“I have always longed to be a part of outer life, to be out there on the edge of things, to let the human filth wash away in emptiness and stillness while the fox dips its scent into the cold, unworldly water world. to return to the city as a stranger. Wandering blushes a glory that fades with arrival.”
DeepL February 2020:
“I have always longed to be part of outer life, to be out there on the edge of things, to let the human stain wash away in emptiness and stillness as the fox releases its scent into the cold unworldliness of the water; to return to the city as a stranger. Wandering washes away a glory that fades with arrival.”
At the beginning of June 2023, I read on Reddit that ChatGPT (which is based on GPT-3.5 in the free version) can now translate better than Google Translate, and I show him my test text:
“I have always aspired to be a part of outer life, to be out there on the edge of things, to wash away human interference in emptiness and stillness while the fox sheds its scent into the cold unreality of the water; to return to the city as a stranger. Wandering illuminates a glory that fades with arrival.”
Some things are worse than the previous versions. “I’ve always longed for this” was better than striving here. “The human influence” is worse than the human stain. In the chestnut description, Jandl/Sievert are still unbeaten. The fox connection with “during” is also incorrect here. But here it is clear who is returning to the city, and that he is doing it as a stranger rather than a stranger. While the last set is still not perfect, the flash and fade solution is the best so far. You could now make one out of all these versions, for example like this:
“I have always longed to be part of this life, this outside, to stand out there on the edge of things, washing the human stain from me with emptiness and stillness as the fox does in the cold worldlessness of the water of its scent get rid of to return to the city as a stranger. Hiking illuminates a glow that fades upon arrival.”
A good solution is still missing for “the outward life” and I’m not quite satisfied with the rinsing situation either. But maybe the next GPT version will come up with something.
(Kathrin Passig)