– Neither Harald Eia nor I, who have independent professions with great flexibility, good pay and who live as equals, should make ourselves spokespersons for everyone else, says Anette Trettebergstuen (Ap) to Nettavisen.
The former Minister of Culture and Gender Equality became a mother to her son Gustav in 2017. In the podcast «Family codes» she told about how she ended up having children with her gay friend, Christian Berg.
The former minister points out that everything depends on the life situation of the women who choose to have children.
– I understand very well that young girls who work part-time, or temporarily, cannot afford to enter the housing market and feel insecure about the future, waiting to have children. Or that single parents with full-time jobs become exhausted and burned out.
– Of course, having children is more tiring than not having them. But it is definitely worth the effort, Trettebergstuen asserts.
– Damn tiring
Last week, fresh figures came from Statistics Norway that the number of births in Norway is at a historically low low level. Norwegian women today have 1.4 children. According to the UN, the figure must be approximately 2.1 in order to maintain the population over a longer period of time.
In the latest episode of “Tore and Harald’s podcast”Eia comes up with a theory as to why it has become like this:
– This emphasis on how damn tiring it is to have children, talking down the whole thing, makes people actually start to feel that it is tiring. A doctor told me that every time there is a report in VG about people with long covid who are struggling with brain fog, what do you think the GPs get a visit from then? asks Eia rhetorically.
Nettavisen has been in contact with Harald Eia’s podcast producer, Karoline Enoksen, who says that he does not want to say anything more beyond what is stated in the episode.
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– My proposal for a solution here is to stop focusing on the fact that children are so damn tiring, pressed for time and that they are fussy. Then this “truth” that having children is a struggle will evaporate and the birth rates will go up, says Eia in the podcast.
He refers to his own experiences as a father:
– I have had five children in total, I have lost one as you know, but the four who are alive – there have been wakeful nights, howling in shops, vomiting, running to catch everything possible, driving back to the nursery because I forgot that it were extra food parcels, arguing about brushing the teeth, sleeping problems.
– Was it tiring? In other words, give me two hours off where I can exercise a bit, sleep or go for a walk, then I’m totally rested, fully recovered and ready for new battles, says Eia.
Disagree with Eia
How tiring it is to have children largely depends on how much you work and how much you earn, says Rødt leader Marie Sneve Martinussen:
– Having “two hours to catch up”, as Harald Eia says, is not a matter of course for everyone, says Martinussen to Nettavisen.
Martinussen is herself the mother of a small boy. She believes that it is particularly mothers in practical professions who do not get a break in their everyday life.
– I think low birth rates are due to real things such as finances, maternity care and health care, and not that there is too much talk about how tiring it is to have children, says Martinussen.
Challenged by the Liberal leader
– I’m rooting for Harald Eia! These debates are often dominated by women, so it is good that some men get involved in the debate, says Venstre leader Guri Melby to Nettavisen.
She calls Eia’s approach “refreshing”, and believes that more people with children should use their voice to say the same as him. Melby still wants to challenge the comedian on one thing:
– Do we know enough about the reasons why birth rates are so low? It is difficult to have a debate about how we should raise the birth rates, when we do not know why they are so low.
Part of the motivation behind the choice to become leader of the Liberal Party was to show that it is possible to balance children and career, she says.
– It is not always easy, but it is entirely possible. Several are advocating that we may have to dare to lower our ambitions in certain areas. I totally agree with that. My home doesn’t look like it’s been taken out of an interior design catalogue, I don’t exercise five times a week, and I rarely go out with friends. My experience is that I get to prioritize the children, but a lot of other things have to give way.
Having said that, she also understands those who find that having children is demanding.
– I am thinking particularly of those who have sole responsibility for providing care, work where flexibility is not possible and a tight economy that imposes restrictions, says Melby.
Points to the system
FRP leader Sylvi Listhaug is also happy that Eia has brought the topic to the fore. She largely agrees with the comedian.
– I agree with Eia that there is a lot of focus on problems and what is tiring about having children, and far too little focus on how much joy it actually gives, says Listhaug to Nettavisen.
She believes the problem lies in the way the system is structured, and believes families are not allowed to choose how to distribute their maternity leave to a sufficient extent.
She herself has three children with her husband Espen Espeset, who also works in the Progress Party.
– During my first pregnancy, I worked until the bitter end. But I know people who were hospitalized because they got so bad. We were lucky. Our children slept at night, and there was never much trouble with them, says Listhaug.
The party leader says that she herself struggled to balance work and home life for a period.
– You can’t get it in bags and sacks. There is no one who politically can decide that you should get 100 percent on all fronts. If you are going to bet on your career, then you must be willing to hand over part of the responsibility to your partner. As a career woman, one of the most important choices you make if you want to have children is which man you choose to marry, says Listhaug.
– The media must take responsibility
KrF leader Olaug Bollestad also believes that it is tough to combine politics and family life.
The mother of four believes the media are partly to blame:
– Of course, some days are more intense than others, but all in all it has been an enormous joy. The media must also take their share of the responsibility. The way they portray having children in advertisements and cases makes it seem extremely tiring, says Bollestad.