CASTELPLANIO (Ancona) – Sometimes swallowing even a single morsel of food can become torture. Debora Fabbretti knows it, she knows that suffering well, the sense of emptiness and the desire to disappear; yet, not even in the darkest moments, such as the coma at 14 years old, did she ever stop fighting for her life against that “monster”, as she defines it, which is theanorexia and now her degree with 110 cum laude in Nursing at the Polytechnic University of Marche has the flavor of rebirth. «Healing is possible – says the 24-year-old – it costs effort and a lot of pain, but the important thing is knowing how to ask for help».
The nightmare
His battle began when he was just 14 years old. «I saw myself sinking day after day, I felt a strong sense of bewilderment – he says – but the fear of food and the obsession with weight were just a symptom that something inside me had already broken some time ago». After the first admission to the Torrette hospital, five months later in the Salesi neuropsychiatry department, the hardest moment. «Despite being fed by the tube, my body was becoming increasingly weaker as if crushed by the weight of my soul. One day, lacking strength, I fainted and, hitting my head hard on the ground, suffered a head injury with internal bleeding. So it was the promptness of surgeon Trignani that saved my life, but I still spent 8 days in a coma.”
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It was a nightmare, but when she woke up she realized that something had changed in her and she was determined to react, accepting hospitalization in a specialized facility in Todi. «I was 16 years old and that monster was emptying me, I couldn’t continue like this. In Todi I met some fantastic people, first of all my roommate, Michela. In each of their embraces, in each of their smiles I was reborn and with me, slowly, my body too. This is how I understood the importance of taking care and this is how for me, that ofnurseit has become a mission.”
After graduating, starting university studies and suddenly, when everything seemed to be going right, darkness again and a year ago, now 23 years old, a terrible relapse. «It was different. Awareness made it more difficult for me to accept ending up in a facility again, this time at Villa Oasi, in San Marcello. But I did it thinking about my brother, my sister-in-law and my grandchildren, the love I feel for them.”
The battle
A continuous struggle, between herself and the disease. After a few months Debora seems to be better and goes back to books. «I decided that graduating would be my turning point. A goal that Michela and I had long imagined reaching together. And instead she is now among the angels, she has lost her battle against the monster. I dedicate my degree thesis to her. To her, and to those who fight in silence.” Debora graduated last Thursday in a splendid lilac suit, the color of the fight against eating disorders. On the jacket, the symbolic bow. «It was a nurse from Villa Oasi who gave it to me. On the day of my proclamation everyone was there with me, even the healthcare workers. It was very important, because I would like my teammates to see with their own eyes that it is possible to be reborn.” Last Monday he resigned from Villa Oasi. «From a caterpillar, I am now a beautiful butterfly». The one that she tattooed on her skin to remind herself that she can fall again, the important thing is to get up every time.
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